How to get unstuck from the "I have to" trap and start living your life from a place of choice.
Feeling stuck or trapped in life can be a huge source of frustration. It's that sense of being boxed in and not seeing a way out.
We might push at the sides of the box, or even break through a little bit. It can feel suffocating. What we really want is to find is a way we can push down the walls and step outside back into the sunshine and fresh air.
Becoming a mom is often the happiest moment of our lives. Although we may not change it for the world, the truth is that sometimes the added responsibility of being a mom can lead us to feeling more and more boxed in or trapped in our lives, in our career, financially, personally, and even physically.
The good news is that there is a key to unlocking this box and breaking down these walls. It's connecting with the feeling that we are living our life by choice. When we experience our life from a place of choice, versus what we should, need, or have to do, everything begins to change. We feel happier, more fulfilled, and are able to enjoy our lives on a daily basis. So how do we start living from a place of choice?
We often view being at a place of choice in our life as requiring sudden and drastic changes to how we live. Like quitting our job to leap into our own business. This can be true if it's the right choice for you.
However, the feeling that we have to suddenly 180 our lives can leave us feeling completely overwhelmed and even more trapped in our box. Especially when we're moms. Our choices seem to hold so much more weight. It's no longer just us we need to consider. As a result we often end up staying stuck and doing nothing.
The truth is, we can start living from a place of choice without changing a thing about our lives. The key is choosing to shift the way we think. One example is how we think about our current job that we may feel trapped or stuck in. There are 3 ways we can choose to think about it.
1. I Have To
When we approach a situation from a "have to" place, it's the feeling that if we don't, we will experience dire consequences. For example, I have to work this job as I've been told this is what I should do to be a responsible parent. We feel forced into it, and that we have very little or no choice. As a result, we feel completely trapped in our situation and see no way out.
2. I Need To
As we begin to approach situations from an "I need to" place, we start to feel more empowered and less stuck. We realize that we have a choice and there is a benefit. For example, I need this job or my family will lose their home, or I won't be able to provide the opportunities I want for my children.
However, we still experience the feeling of being trapped or stuck, as we still don't really want to do it. It's like we've managed to push our head through the box and see the light, but we haven't quite broken down all the walls.
3. I Choose To
This is where we break out of the box and no longer feel stuck. We've stepped back into the light. This would look like "'I choose to' do this job, as it provides the financial security I desire for my family, which is very important to me." Another example might be, "'I choose to' do this job as it allows me to provide income for my family as I take the steps to transition into my own business."
When we look at our situations this way, we connect deeply with what we're doing, and feel like we're living by choice. This is where our freedom begins.
Every situation in our life is a choice. When we recognize this, start to shift how we view our situations, and connect with why we're making our choices, we free up the negative energy that keeps us stuck in the "I have to" and "I need to" parts of our lives. We are then able to shift our focus from what we don't want to taking action and moving forward toward creating more of what we want in our lives.
What are some of the "have to"s or "need to"s right now in your life you would like to shift towards a place of choice?
Karen is mom, entrepreneur, and Founder of The Passion Shift. Download Karen’s FREE Training Audio: Master The Passion-Shift Mindset: Learn How To Change the Rules So You Can Start Living Your Passion, Revolutionize Your Work Life & Free Your Time & Energy to Have More Fun With Your Family.
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