I'm doing a three week detox and cleanse diet this month as punishment, I mean reward!, for going on a big sugar binge these last few months. I love the way my body is beginning to feel, once I got past the craving for chocolate cake and french fries! It got me thinking about how toxic our relationships can get. Is it time to detoxify your relationship?
Relationships can be seriously toxic. Like someone who eats fast food every day for a year and lives near a manufacturing plant. Or, relationships can be a little toxic. Like the diets like most of us have. Serious toxicity is a sign that you need to get out of the relationship or do something drastic to change things. I mean now!
Three Signs that your relationship is highly toxic:
1. Your arguments have devolved into repeated name calling, public humiliation, shoving, blocking exits, hitting.
2. Your partner is controlling your every move, expressing intense jealousy (with no evidence) or withholds affection, money or resources from you.
3. There's no affection, time spent together, sex, communication or positive regard toward each other. In other word, the relationship is dead and you're just living together as roommates.
But what about relationships that aren't as seriously toxic as the above? What are signs that your relationship needs to detoxify before it gets bad?
1. A decrease in sex or physical affection over time
2. Increase in frequency and intensity of arguments
3. Resentment that's becoming hard to let go of
4. Emotional distance for more than a month
5. Not spending regular time together.
6. Infidelity (emotional, sexual, online)
7. Criticism, defensiveness, or complete withdrawal
If you have any of the above signs of toxicity, consider doing something now to clean up your relationship and restore its balance. Read a book, go on a retreat, take a class, go to counseling. Do something before you're so toxic, it actually causes serious health risks to you and your partner!