When a man is in a bad mood, withdrawn, sad, or whatever, a woman’s tendency is to want to support and nurture him. Women do this to other women and it’s welcomed. But when you do it to a man, he wants nothing to do with it.
Men process their feelings and emotions differently than women do. They want to think things through, or sometimes to suppress what they’re feeling. Let them. As author John Grey says, let him go to his cave. When he’s ready, he’ll come out, with the mood usually gone.
When he does come out, don’t try to talk to him about it. If he wants to talk, he will. Otherwise, he’ll think you’re prying into an area you don’t belong. DO NOT take it personally. It’s simply his way of dealing with his inner thoughts and feelings.
“But I want to help him,” you say. Well, DON’T. When a man goes into a dark mood, it’s best to let him know you’re there if he needs you, but that you’ll give him time and space to work it through. Don’t try to lift him out of it, because that is you not honoring where he is.
If you’re in a bad mood, I doubt that you want someone to tell you how to be. When you try to give him the same support you would a woman, he will perceive it as you trying to tell him how he should deal with what’s going on. He doesn’t need the conversation, holding, agreement, commiserate, etc. that you do.
There’s a reason I have dedicated the last dozen years to helping women understand how men are different than women. When you fully embrace and honor those differences, your relationships with men will transform. You can learn how to understand men with the secrets about men in Men Made Easy. If you want to find out if he’s a Caveman, a Dog, a Prince or all three, go to KaraOh.com and sign up to receive my 3 free ebooks.
From my heart to yours,
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