Was He a Good Lover?

The more time I spend studying the world of romance, love, relationships, and men, the more I’m convinced about why women lose interest in sex.

More often than not I think it is because most men don’t really know what it takes to be a good lover. I’m not even talking about a great lover. Those are rare and usually if they’re too good, they’re also pretty likely to need lots of variety. They didn’t get good at making love by reading Shakespeare!

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The problem is that most men aren’t able to receive advice on the topic of their sexual abilities. And even for those who do want to learn, they don’t know what it means to have a softer touch, or to kiss more sensuously, or to simply slow down the process and pay enough attention to read the signs of how the woman is progressing. And when you think about it, how would most men learn to be good in bed? There’s nothing in our society that is meant to teach men the finer points of sexual ability.

I happen to think that women are, overall, more sexual than men. That’s because women are more sensual. They’re more inclined to enjoy the world through their senses because they’re more in touch with their senses. They’ve been encouraged all their lives to be open to what the senses can tell. So it stands to reason that they are more sensually inclined when it comes to sex.

When a sensually open woman has a partner who isn’t very sensitive to the full possibilities of sexual expression, she’s frustrated and eventually, prefers not to have sex at all. When a man is too rough, lacks knowledge of female sexuality and anatomy, and think she’s there to facilitate his orgasm, most women will lose interest very quickly.

From my heart to yours,
Kara Oh

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