1.In bed: During lovemaking, in those times of rest, in between the high energy times, talk about what you just did and how it made you feel; what your partner did and how it made you feel; how your partner reacted to something you did. Say things like, “When I swirled my tongue around the tip of your penis, and touched your testicles, I loved how you reacted, the noises you made. It really turned me on. And when you stroked the inside of my thigh with that feather light touch, I could feel electricity running through me. It was great.” This is a way to make love all over again, get turned on again, and communicate all the things that worked. You can learn a lot about each other this way.
2.On the phone: Call your partner and either speak to them directly or if they aren’t in, leave them a message. Be sure no one else will hear it. An example might be, “Hi, I was just thinking of what you did to me last night, how you got on top of me and looked at me that way. It really got me hot.” Who and what will they be thinking about?
3.In cards, letters or eMail: Send notes describing what you might want to do or how something you have done recently or that you haven’t done in a while would turn you on. Don’t be afraid to go into details. Be erotic, sexy, nasty, whatever you know would turn on your partner.
4.Anywhere around the house or when you’re out: If you’re in the kitchen, the bathroom, when you’re driving in the car, at a party, lecture, or movie, lean over and say something seductive that you know will turn on your partner. Maybe suggest a fantasy, like making love on the kitchen counter, or in the shower. And, ladies, it’s amazing the reaction you can get and the attention throughout the evening if you announce when you’re on your way or at a function that you’re not wearing panties.
This kind of talk is a way to keep the special intimacy that you share, keep your interest and focus on sex, communicate what you like and want, and keep your sexual energy flowing. If you’re tentative just start a little at a time. Be respectful of each other and stay alert to what works and doesn’t. Experiment, be creative, and most importantly, have fun.
From my heart to yours,
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