Love, Love, Love…Blah, Blah, Blah

Someone asked me the following question today and I thought it would be an interesting topic to post here:

Hi Kara,
I have some very good friends who tell everyone, even people on FB that they’ve never met that they “Love” them. While I appreciate the compassion and sentiment, I think it’s inauthentic. To me, “Love” is how I feel about VERY dear friends and family. If they saw me saying that to everyone, our connection wouldn’t seem so special. What do you think?

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And my response:

I agree with you. I also find it a bit strange when people get too gushy about their ‘facebook family’ and how special they are. I enjoy the people I interact with here and have met a few face-to-face and talked to some on the phone but I don’t gush. Instead, I appreciate, which IS authentic.

In our language we use love to describe an awful lot of things. In Spanish, the only language I know well enough to describe, they have different terms for different types of love and the “I love you” for their romantic partner is used very judiciously. We would do better if we had a variety of words to describe love. I love chocolate, I love the memory of my dear little dog, I love that you asked me this question, I love my ex-fiance’ but like a brother now. Wouldn’t it be great if we had a different word for each of those connotations of ‘love.’

I remember when I was starting to feel a need to pull away from my fiance’, I was very conscious of not wanting to even sign an email with the word love in it. That kind of love can only be authentic when it’s felt. Now I can tell him I love him but in the way I love him as a brother, not a romantic partner. It is authentic, but feels different.

Thank you for asking the question. I really appreciate it. – And I mean that! “-)

From my heart to yours,
Kara Oh

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