Most men don’t want to admit they might be going through midlife crisis. When a man does, it’s meaningful. I wrote a book on the topic, and right before I was ready to publish it, my computers were stolen and that book as well. I need to write it again, but first, because I have so many women who are begging for it, I’ve got to finish Feminine Grace.
One of the most important things I learned in doing my research is that the thing that triggers a midlife crisis is when a man asks the question: “Is this all there is? Is this what I worked for all my adult life? Is this what I hoped for when I was just getting started on being a man?” When they ask this question, they are usually disappointed. That’s because most men have unrealized goals, even Ted Turner. The sad thing is that men tend to take it out on their wives, try to do whatever they think will make them feel young and full of hope, they often leave their families, occasionally ruin their finances, begin to gamble, drink, use drugs, use women, etc.
Most men do not have the coping skills to deal with these kind of overwhelming feelings. They have been taught since they were little to stuff their feelings, never show vulnerability or express their emotions. This is a VERY serious time for a man. It has the highest incident of suicide other than teenage boys.
My advice is to be as supportive as you can be, and at the same time, take care of yourself. If he acts out, is with other women, does scary things (like getting a motorcycle), it is not about you. It is his way of not dealing with his feelings head on. If he makes it through and hasn’t destroyed your marriage, he is likely to be the man you’ve always wanted.
Most important, don’t try to help him, only be supportive by using Feminine Grace and the secrets in Men Made Easy, don’t try to tell him what he’s feeling (don’t mention what I’ve said above), don’t offer advice. Just take care of yourself.
The more you understand men, the more you will be able to communicate your needs. To begin your journey of understanding, download 3 free ebooks about how men are Cavemen, Dogs, and Princes, all at the same time. You can get them at KaraOh.com.
From my heart to yours,
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