In an interview with Will Smith awhile back, he talked about the secret behind his successful marriage. He said that hard times in any marriage were inevitable and that, if divorce was an option, some difficulty or another would eventually be enough to bring it down. But for Will and Jada, divorce is not an option.
Because divorce is not an option for them, when the hard times come along, they work it out. But to have a happy marriage—not just an enduring one—there’s more to it than that.
In the past, when my mother was a divorcee’, her situation was shameful because it was so rare. That word isn't even used today. Yes, people stayed married back then, but they weren't necessarily happier. Because those couples didn’t necessarily have great marriage skills, many of them were not "happily" married. They tolerated each other. They slept in different rooms. They lived their lives, putting one foot methodically in front of the other.
So where is the successful balance of "divorce is not an option" and being "happily married"?
We need to learn how to communicate effectively, and how to avoid the build-up of resentment, which is one of the quickest and easiest ways to kill love. We need to learn how to consciously keep romantic love alive, to keep sex a priority, to have fun together, and to continue to trust and respect each other… all things that are essential to a happy marriage.
All those aspects of what makes a marriage happy and enduring can be learned. The sad thing today is that divorce IS an option for most couples and, combined with no marriage skills, when things get difficult—and they always do—divorce is just too easy. What's hard is to take responsibility, admit you both need to change, and dig in and take the steps necessary to learn new skills. Then, after all has been tried, opt for divorce from a wiser position, not as an easy fix.
To learn the skills necessary to create an amazing marriage, I have two programs that can make the difference between divorce and a happy, fulfilling marriage. One is Men Made Easy and the other is Marriage Makeover Manual. It does take some effort, but the rewards are definitely worth it.
From my heart to yours, http://menmadeeasy.com Kara Oh
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