There's a "high" that comes with achievement, respect, power and money. That high keeps you motivated and focused on your career track, but does sex somehow get lost in the shuffle? What if you could create that same kind of high and focus when it comes to your love life?
The physical side of your relationship is what keeps it vibrant and alive, and can't be ignored. Without it, your relationship stagnates. You begin to feel like roommates instead of lovers. Have you ever noticed what you're saying when you use the term "making" love? Sex between lovers regenerates love. It's like a glass with a hole in the bottom. If you don't keep refilling it, it will eventually run dry. That's when people wonder where the love went. Making love keeps the glass full.
To spice up your sex life, simply make love all day long. "Yikes," you say. "No way, no time, no energy." Not to fret. You just have to redefine what making love means.
Making love is anything that gets the juices flowing, makes you think of each other with longing or allows you to connect physically in ways that arouse, if only for a few moments. Long, slow kisses, touching, teasing, holding each other and gazing into each other's eyes. Making hello and goodbye kisses last at least 10 seconds––no pecks allowed.
Why not share a deep kiss as you part in the morning and when you return at night? That alone can make all the difference when you're together. Purchase several slightly risque cards and then, once in a while, leave one where your man will find it. His drawer or in his briefcase. Or leave sexy notes around the house. Push the envelope and say things that will surprise him and make him want you as soon as he can get his hands on you. And speaking of briefcases, why not leave a pair of slinky panties somewhere he'll find them?
Would you like him to think about you throughout the day? Tease each other with sexy talk and innuendo. Have fun with it and be playful. Have you ever left a sexy message on his voice mail? How about making an audio CD and leaving it for him to listen to when he gets into his car. Be daring, adventuresome and just a little bit naughty. If you're used to sleeping in a nightgown, climb into bed naked for a change. Notice his reaction. If sleeping naked is the norm, slip on that see-through nighty he hasn't seen for a while. Or buy something outrageous. Take it another step and try a costume. Maybe even a wig. A wig can let him feel like he's with another woman––you know, that typical guy fantasy––and you just might find yourself doing things the real you would never even consider. Is his T-shirt and old boxers a turn-off for you? Buy him a pair of silk boxer shorts so the both of you can enjoy the sensual pleasures of how good he feels under that slippery fabric.
How's your fantasy world? If you regularly think about making love with your partner, you'll find yourself having trouble keeping your hands off of him when you see him next. Fantasize about what you'd like to do to him and what you'd like him to do to you. Be wild and let your imagination go wherever it will. Buy props to bring your fantasies to life. Get some whipped cream and chocolate and serve him a dessert he won't forget. What about tying him to the bed, blindfolding him and teasing him with feathers, pearls or maybe ice? Get creative and see where it goes.
Sex begets sex. The more you do it, the more you think about it, the more you want it. It gives you more energy and, you've got to admit, it's a terrific sleep aid. And let go of making orgasm the goal of love making. That kind of pressure makes you want to put it off till you have more time. Then you both miss out on the real pleasures of skin on skin, being held, kissing and seeing pleasure in each other's eyes.
None of these suggestions take much time, but your love life will pick up. You'll feel closer to your partner, and be energized like you were when you were first in love. Love and sex are great ways to celebrate being alive. It add spice to everything you do, and makes all your highs that much higher. From my heart to yours, Kara Oh
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