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Is He Killing Your Spirit?


For starters, the question in the title really should be, How Are You Killing Your Spirit?

Okay, here’s how my thinking rolled along, ending up with the above title, knowing I had something helpful to share with you…
I’m sitting out here on my patio, looking at my beautiful view, listening to John Legend’s “So High,” sent to me by Stephen, my CO (Chosen One) in a text. (Check out the heart-melting lyrics by listening to the video below.) 

John Legend - So High

Stephen is just ten feet away, working on his computer, enjoying the music with me. I think to myself, “It’s so nice to be sharing the enjoyment of this music, this day, this beautiful place we live in with Stephen.”
I then think about how it felt to be with my ex-boyfriend and how we had so little in common. I contrast how it feels now to be with Stephen, compared to how it felt to be with my ex– lovely man that he is.
Conclusion? I can feel how my spirit was literally dying.
Okay, so that’s how I decided to write about how being with the wrong man can kill your spirit. For starters, the question in the title really should be, How Are You Killing Your Spirit? That’s because we kill our own spirit by staying with the wrong man, for too long.
We can say “they” killed it, but only we have control of our thinking, our emotions and our reaction to the influence of others.
Our spirit dies a little every time we acquiesce to his needs.
Our spirit dies a little every time we make love when we’re feeling disconnected from him.
Our spirit dies a little every time we hang out with him when you would rather be with your girlfriends.
Our spirit dies a little every time we allow him to be even the tiniest bit disrespectful.
It’s one thing to be in a less than satisfying relationship in order to learn the lessons that are there for you. But when you go beyond that time, when you go into a state of ‘enduring,’ your spirit will die.
Enduring, settling, keeping the peace, fear of hurting his feelings… If you stay longer than you know you should–and you do know already–then you are allowing your spirit to die. Please, please heed this message and leave if this is happening to you.
You are too precious to live this way. Your life is a grand gift that should be honored. The best way I know of to honor your life and your spirit is to be as happy as you can be, filled with love.
I want you to be happy, to celebrate that you are a magnificent woman, a gift to the right man…a man who will cherish and adore you and treat you like a queen.
To understand men, you can start with my 3 free ebooks, which describe men as Caveman, Dog and Prince. Fun and enlightening. You can get them at

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.


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