I put this commonly mentioned phrase in my book Men Made Easy because it’s so true: Men marry a woman hoping she’ll never change, but she always does; and women marry men hoping they will change, but they never do.
Women make themselves crazy trying to get a man to change, to behave, or to ‘do the right thing.’ When you think about it it’s unbelievably rude and arrogant to think we have a right to tell someone else how they should be, or that we know better.
The only thing we have a right to request is how they treat us. If they are rude, disrespectful, hurtful or whatever else, we can and SHOULD speak up. Otherwise, who are we to think we know what’s best for someone else. But women do this to their husbands and boyfriends all the time.
If men did to women what women do to men in this regard, they would not tolerate it. It does happen, there are plenty of controlling men, but overall, women do it much more.
It’s always helpful to step back and watch your behavior from outside. Doing this allows us to see the bigger picture, how our actions look and feel to the other person. This is not easy, but an important part of Feminine Grace (introduced in Men Made Easy) is to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Imagine how it feels to him to have you trying to change or control him?
It’s amazing how ugly women can be without realizing it. It’s not our place to change or try to control another person. If he needs to be different than what and how he is for you to be happy with him, either you need to walk away, or you need to change. That’s the only way.
The most influential factor in all this is that women tend to focus on turning dating into a relationship way too soon. When this happens, there’s usually a time when she starts trying to get him to be what she needs him to be. The smarter thing to do is to allow the getting acquainted time to last longer. It takes several months for a couple to relax to the point where they begin to show their true colors.
If you relax and allow a new relationship to unfold in it’s own way, in it’s own time, then you can see more clearly when it’s working or not working. It’s much better to walk away when it’s not a good fit, rather than wasting time trying to make something work that never will.
Instead of getting involved with a man who you need to change, it’s better to know more clearly what you are looking for, so you don’t waste time on the wrong man. My program, From Mr. Wrong To Mr. Right will help you do just that. And be sure and get three free ebooks so you can determine if he’s a Caveman, a Dog, a Prince or all three.
From my heart to yours,
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