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Confrontation Or Communication? The Difference Is Key

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Communication and Confrontation In Relationships
Confronting causes feelings of hostility.
Confrontation can be detrimental to a relationship.

One of the most common relationship advice questions I get is if women should confront their partner about an issue. My answer may surprise you: it's always no!

You should never confront anyone, unless you have no desire to be heard. Sometimes, you just want to vent and let your partner know how angry or upset you are. If that's the case, go for it. But be prepared for the consequences: confrontation makes the accused act defensive and non-communicative. Confronting your partner could seriously damage your relationship, especially if you get aggressive and hurtful.

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But if you truly want him to understand your side of the story, how his actions affected you and what needs to happen to make it okay (especially so it doesn't happen in the future), you need to plan when, what, and how you communicate with him.

One thing that helps here is simply waiting: waiting to calm down, waiting for the right time. Waiting allows you to take a step back and look at the situation more clearly. Waiting also allows you the maturity to ask yourself a few questions:

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1. Why did you get upset?
This is a biggie and takes some real honesty, because why you got upset is all about you. True, he might have done something really bad, like being disrespectful toward you or the promises you've made to each other. But how you choose to respond to this issue is your choice. Learning to be in charge of your reactions is a huge part of what I teach to members of my Feminine Grace Online Workshop. When you're in charge, you get to be in control of how you live your life. Otherwise, you're handing your power over to the other person. This is not a good idea for healthy relationships. Keep reading...

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