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Turn up the KINK!
By Kali Williams — Written on Apr 21, 2017
Who said you have to be into S&M in its entirety in order to enjoy a good spanking in bed? This doesn't have to be the case at all.
In fact, sometimes, the occasional spank is enough to spice things up for a bit, especially if it's performed as a spontaneous act.
Of course, it certainly has the potential to "up" the kinky factor in the bedroom, but it doesn’t have to be. It can be part of power play, but that might not be the case for you.
Maybe you just enjoy the physical sensations that come along with the territory.
Spanking doesn't have to be intimidating... after all, the point is to build in some fun!
If you want to spank or be spanked, it’s good to take a few minutes to think about what you’re looking to get out of it.
Why do you want it, and what about it appeals to you?
This might be different for everyone, but I am certainly not looking to get into a therapy session with you over the matter, nor am I trying to compel you to analyze why you like or dislike the act.
I am merely suggesting that maybe having a talk with your partner — about what makes you feel good and what takes it too far — might bring you two closer together, helping to gap differences that you feel affect you both emotionally.
If it's a new beau, a conversation like this might even lead to getting to know each other better. But here's how to do erotic spanking and what this sexual introduction might bring to your life.
1. You'll get excited about sex again.
Maybe you'll enjoy the physical sensations as well as the accompanying sense of spontaneity.
2. You'll get to experiment with power play both in AND out of the bedroom.
Life shouldn't be about controlling another, but in sex, a little bit of control often adds appeal to both people, regardless of who's doing the spanking.
3. You'll get kind of kinky (without going too far).
When performed in a consenting manner — which is why it's important to have that honest conversation about what you appreciate (or hate) in bed — can add a sense of kinkiness if done during foreplay, while role-playing, or in the middle of the more vanilla type of sex.
The motivation behind the spanking might change each time, but making this either a part of the routine or adding it spontaneously might change the dynamic of your sex life for the better, provided that you both enjoy it.
Don't be afraid to have these types of conversations with your partner — if you can't be open and honest (and raw) about these types of things, maybe you're not with the right person.
Bedroom talk is more important than you think and can lead to intimacy in other areas of your lives.
Just a few tips before you jump in:
First, know that spanking might as well be a science. Make sure to do it correctly (and do with that what you will).
Second, use variation when you're in the act. Differ positioning of the hand; spank different parts of the ass.
Mostly, make certain that you're not too aggressive about it unless it's what you're BOTH into.
Start off with slightly gentle spanks if you need to get the hang of it (I use "gentle" loosely, given the nature of the situation). Learn where and how to spank so you both enjoy the play which will set you up to enjoy it in the future.
Once you’ve talked about spanking with your partner (consent counts!), take your next sexual opportunity to add some spicy spanking to your adult play time.