It's easy to get overwhelmed by the idea of giving your sex life an overhaul, thinking "oh I could be doing that more often" or "I wish he would do this without me telling him", but it isn't complicated to breathe new life into your sex life without to much effort.
The first 'pre-step' if you will, is to be willing to put SOME effort into it. Great sex doesn't just happen magically like it does in the movies. Life can be distracting, to-do lists grow ever longer and sometimes a night settled in on the couch with brain-drain TV shows on sounds really really good.
But your sex life is a part of having a happy life over-all. What constitues a good sex life is up to you, which leads us to the 1st way to transform your sex life....
- Not all sex lives are designed the same, and what *your* best sex life looks like is likely very different from others.. So the first important step is to figure out exactly what needs to be transformed for you to feel like you have the sex life of your dreams. Do you want to have sex more often? Are you interested in exploring more sexual interests and activities? Would a little power play or kinkiness spice things up? What if you like your sex life as it is, but just wish you could be more communicative with your partner about it? Answering these questions will give you the "what" for your sexual transformation.
- On to the "how"! With your partner, take time to sit and relax together, perhaps enjoy a glass of wine if that's your thing, and talk about the fun ways you can answer these sexual questions, together and in low key ways. Communication truly is the best 'sex aid' and you'll learn quickly how much sexier everything gets when you both clearly know what will turn your partner on.
- Next, the time is "now", so don't delay putting things into motion to have hotter sex (aka the kind of sex you really want!) and remember that it isn't about plotting out a complicated plan or putting pressure on yourselves to immediately improve everything. Pick a few small and easy ways to connect intimately, jump start more frequent sexual adventures or trying out a little kinky good fun.
When it comes to true transformation, it doesn't have to happen in one big bang. Taking smaller, more consistent steps together and being commited to improve your sexual expressions will create a longer lasting, more deeply fulfilling sex life transformation.