Spontaneity is nice, but a well-planned seduction can be even nicer – Polgara ‘The Mallorean’
Ok yes, this quote came from a sci-fi fantasy book, but it is still completely true! Obviously having hot passionate sex on the turn of a dime is incredibly hot, but if we all waited for those times to happen we might never get laid.
One of my long time sayings is “Structure supports spontaneity” and in my experience it’s completely true. With the busy nature of our lives, it’s hard to wait for the ‘right time’ to get your sexual motor going. Instead I’m a big believer in keeping the ‘sexual motor’ running at low levels so when you need to you can jump right into full blown sexy time.
So, how do you do this?
It’s a practical idea to schedule sexy time into your ‘official’ calendar. Making a conscious choice to prioritize your sex life is a ‘structure’ that will also increase your chance of be spontaneous. When there is frequent opportunity to be sexual, it’s much more likely that sexy time will be more spontaneous in between those times.
One of you has to take the initiative to get things started. First ‘set the scene’ by mentioning that you’d like to have some kind of sexy play soon and that you’ll be making sure that it happens. However, mention this in a seductive, enticing, playful way…don’t “inform” them. This is particularly helpful when you know there will be at least *some* free time to actually follow through.
Next, you want to think of a few elements to create the seduction. Perhaps lay out a favorite pair of silk stockings for her when she gets home, or greet your partner at the door wearing nothing but a silk robe (to be opened as soon as the door shuts!). This kind of proactive seduction is much more likely to catch your partners attention.
Other great seduction techniques include asking your partner to take a leisurely shower with you at the end of the day, so you can soap up and rub your naked bodies together. Make sure it’s not a day that has a lot going on (exhaustion is the bane of a good sex life!) and purposefully take the opportunity to enjoy a seduction.
A kiss can be a seduction all by itself. Wait until you know you both have a few minutes before you *have* to do something and surprise your partner with a slow, teasing kiss.