Oh, the pressure of this ‘most romantic’ holiday! With all the hallmark cards and the diamond ring ads and the gift giving choices…it can get a bit overwhelming. But it doesn’t have to! You can use Valentine’s Day to jump start your sex life for more than just one day, but for a long time after.
- Take the pressure off both the actual V-Day and on your sex life in general. Being erotic with your partner should be fun, not an obligation. Finding new ways to sensually connect will improve your sex life indefinitely. Let V-Day be a time to play and try something new. Look at each other with fresh sexual desire. Remember what’s turned you on about your partner in the past and focus on that.
- Enjoy each others bodies! With busy schedules and holiday pressures it can be VERY easy to rush through pleasuring each other, and that’s a damn shame! Take time, slow down, and devour each other. Take at least this day to love your own body. Rediscover the deliciousness of touch and kisses all over the body and bodies pressed together. Don’t rush towards the “big bang”, in this case the journey is definitely as good as the destination.
- Have sex BEFORE meals or an extravagant night out. When you’re full of lush food or it’s after a night on the town, you may be too full or too tired to be erotic with one another. So make space for sex in advance of all the other festivities. It will give you both a lovely glow when you get to where you’re going and this way you won’t miss the ‘main course’ of the night…each other!
- Let this V-Day inspire you to communicate with each other more sexually through-out the following year. Commit to treating each other as sexual beings no matter what else is going on in your life, even if it means leaving little invitations for a quickie, or a text sharing a hot fantasy. Don’t let February 14th be the only time you look at each other with erotic eyes. Leave ‘valentines’ for each other all year long.
- Use the ‘special day’ to try a new sexy fun activity that you’ve both been thinking about. Have a sexual adventure together. Role-play or focus on one person pleasuring the other, one at a time. Let the sex be luxurious and new. Try a different position than you usual use, but don’t forget, this is all in good fun! By trying something new and exciting together you’ll build intimacy and if it doesn’t go exactly as planned that’s ok! Laughing about sex ‘mishaps’ can also build intimacy and take that performance pressure off of both of you.
So don’t let Valentine’s Day come and go as just the one day of the year you focus on your relationship. Fall in love every day. Celebrate your love, somehow, even if it’s in small ways, every day or athe very least, more frequently! This holiday can be a sort of ‘New Year’ for your relationship and sex life to get jump started, and you’ll reap the rewards a lot more than a box of chocolate will give either of you!