How can we take someone seriously when we can date as many people as we want?
Online dating allows us to date and communicate with multitudes of people, but doesn't this promote disingenuous efforts to know someone genuinely? It's hard to be sincere about someone when we are talking to five other people at the same time; we email this person and that person and the other person. When someone does write back, we aren't sure when we even communicated with him or her. This was also a large focus of my book, "Pray Your Kids Are Ugly".
Online dating sites allow free-for-all communication, so it becomes similar to the first day of fishing: everyone casting their rod in the pond and keeping whatever they catch. In actuality, we throw our bait into the water, which is some lame copy/paste email, and someone bites and replies. We put our date in the boat, but instead of going home because we caught something, we get selfish and want the entire pond! This seems to be the direction online dating is evolving. Dating sites encourage individulas to "Date all you want for $29.99 a month!"
Could online dating benefit from regulations? People should only be able to connect to a few people a month, not whomever they want. How many strangers do we have the courage to approach in person? Probably only a few. Online dating should be the same. To make online dating a more genuine experience, dating registrations could abide by a similar protocol. If we can communicate with only three new connections a month, people are going to take time and create auspicious relationships and not just waste emails.
Upon initial email, we'll study their profile, how they word things, look closely at all the pictures, envision what they represent and the potential they might offer. Options are weighed, and we compose a thoughtful and sincere email if we are truly interested.Within the current structure, a woman sees a guy with a nice smile or a man sees a woman with large breasts, and that's all it takes to send an email.
When people sit behind computers emailing ten people a day, it's not even dating at that point—it’s an addiction. A dating site that allows someone to shop all day is simply enabling this addiction. The more people registered on a dating site, the more money made. Dating sites are not benevolent; I get it. Nobody started a dating site with a philanthropic impetus. It's all business. They want us to date a thousand people at once, all on their site. They make money, we make love.
Having these lengthy, elongated dating subscriptions facilitates the ability for someone to date as a second job. One might say, "Well don't do it, don't log on," but people don't seem to have that type of self-control over their online life.
I have a friend, Brad, who's dating six girls at once. Why? He can. It's almost like an addiction. Soon we might see Online Dating Anonymous support groups. Maybe one day Brad will realize he needs help and finds an Online Dating Anonymous meeting. Walks into the meeting, raises his hand and says, "Hi, I'm Brad. I'm addicted to Online Dating. Can I get some help?"
You think this is a possibility? If you like this post, please check out my site below and also my new book, "Pray Your Kids Are Ugly" - thoughts on Online Dating and the Future of Human Interactions - samples here.
For More Online Dating Advice From YourTango:
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- Online Dating Tips for Single Men