Community Blog: The Secrets Of A Successful Kiss


Community Blog: The Secrets Of A Successful Kiss

There's nothing like the anticipation of the first kiss with someone you just started dating. Your first kiss can set fireworks off and the oxytocin flowing in your body, if it's the kind of kiss that makes you want more.

No one can explain the chemistry and why kissing one person is better than kissing another. However, if the long-awaited first kiss turns out to be a dud, it can kill the relationship, instantly. You don't want to go down in history as being the girl or guy who didn't know how to kiss.

So how do we make sure the first kiss will lead to a night of kissing head-to-toe with a return appearance?

Here are some key pointers to help you make the joy of kissing a night to remember:

1. Let the man initiate. Men still love the hunt. It goes back to caveman days. Let him lean over and kiss you first.

2. Always have breath mints available and offer one to your date after dinner. He'll get the message that you may be on the menu for dessert.

3. Make sure that your lips are moist. It's wintertime and lips tend to be dry or chapped. Make sure you keep lip gloss handy at all times.

4. Wear red lipstick or a color that will make your lips more inviting. I call it the kissable lips look.

5. Start slowly, and then increase the intervals from kissing on the lips and adding in the French-style kiss.

6. Ration the tongue flow. In other words, don't shove your tongue down his or her throat on the first kiss. Kissing styles and experiences vary. You are lucky when you both click on the first kiss.

7. Fantasize about more than just kissing. Hold back if you can. After all, it is just the first kiss and not the home run.

8. Have a good sense of humor if the first kiss is short of perfection. Practice makes perfect, so don't toss away the person whose kissing style is different than yours. We can all be trained and men do like instructions.

9. Communicate about your first kiss in a fun and flirty way. Let the other person know that you enjoyed the first kiss and look forward to more.

10. Still feel a little nervous? Start out by kissing your date on the cheek. Nibble on the ears and then make the embrace on the lips be one to remember.

Julie Spira is a dating expert and the author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Julie Spira

Dating Coach

Julie Spira is a top online dating expert, bestselling author, dating advice columnist and coach, and media personality.  She's the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and is writing The Rules of Netiquette: How to Mind Your Digital Manners. Julie's been featured and quoted over 500 times in the news for her expertise on online dating and relationships including ABC News, BBC, CBS CNN, Cosmpolitan, E! Entertainment, ELLE, FOX, Galtime, Glamour, iVillage, Los Angeles Times, Mashable, Men's Fitness, Men's Health, New York Post, New York Times, Psychology Today, WIRED and Woman's Day. Her dating advice has appeared on eHarmony, JDate, Match, and Zoosk. Visit Cyber-Dating and share your online dating stories. Follow Julie on Twitter @JulieSpira and Like Julie on Facebook.

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Location: Los Angeles, CA
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