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10 Signs You're Dating A Player

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10 Signs You're Dating A Player

Picture this scenario. You met your dream guy on a Monday night at a social mixer. He couldn't keep his eyes off you. There was instant chemistry. He asks you out for Friday night, which appears to be a good sign as it's one of the weekend evenings. He takes your phone number and sends you a flirty text message on your ride home saying how he can't wait until Friday night.

You remember your first kiss with this handsome hunk the whole ride home. You think about what's on your calendar in the next week and how you can rearrange your schedule to fit him in, even before your first date.

You call your BFF with great enthusiasm about the new guy you just met. Your body is tingling with excitement. Is your imagination getting the best of you? Perhaps, yes. Read these signs to determine if it was love at first site or if your upcoming date is adding you to his harem.

1. He cancels your first date. Unless he's truly sick or has a business meeting out of town, your dream date may have been caught up in the moment when he double-booked you. If you hear excuses like he has the flu, or a relative came in from out of town at the last minute, if he's really that into you, he won't break your very important first date.

2. He asks you out for weeknight dates only. If you become the Wednesday night girl, you should be wondering what he is doing on a Friday or Saturday night. After a few dates, it's only appropriate to be on his calendar during a weekend evening.

3. He doesn't introduce you to his friends or family. After a few months of dating and several conversations for upcoming events with his friends and family that he never follows up on, don't believe he is going alone. There's probably someone else that is higher on the totem pole in his arms. You aren't his number one girl. Sure, it sounds logical, but he'll keep you hanging with promises of scheduling another event to take you to, to make sure he can still get you into bed.

4. He calls you last minute for dates.  If your dream date calls you the day of, or even the day before a date to get together, don't get excited and change your plans with your girlfriends to accommodate him. You aren't a priority if you aren't on the calendar at least several days beforehand. He may be asking several women out at the same time. Whoever responds first may end up being his booty call. You're a busy girl. Let him know he needs to plan several days in advance if he wants to see you. 

5. He consistently cancels dates at the last minute. If you are getting cancelled on the day of your date more than once, it's a red flag. Don't put up with it. The dog didn't eat his paper.

6. He introduces you as his friend. If you are sleeping with a guy who doesn't call you his girlfriend, significant other, or other pet name in public, you're just a friend with benefits. Who cares that he brings you flowers? It's time to get out of your dream world and find a man who wants to call you his girl.

7. He disappears for days at a time. When your guy is MIA, especially on the weekends, and reappears with no explanation as if nothing is wrong, don't give him the benefit of the doubt. He's more than a magician. He's a professional juggler and quite simply, a player.

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Julie Spira

Dating Coach

Julie Spira is a top online dating expert, bestselling author, dating advice columnist and coach, and media personality.  She's the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and is writing The Rules of Netiquette: How to Mind Your Digital Manners. Julie's been featured and quoted over 500 times in the news for her expertise on online dating and relationships including ABC News, BBC, CBS CNN, Cosmpolitan, E! Entertainment, ELLE, FOX, Galtime, Glamour, iVillage, Los Angeles Times, Mashable, Men's Fitness, Men's Health, New York Post, New York Times, Psychology Today, WIRED and Woman's Day. Her dating advice has appeared on eHarmony, JDate, Match, and Zoosk. Visit Cyber-Dating Expert.com and share your online dating stories. Follow Julie on Twitter @JulieSpira and Like Julie on Facebook.

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