to the YourTango newsletter!

Continue to Site »»

ProConnect

10 Signs You're Dating A Player

By . Posted on .

10 Signs You're Dating A Player

Picture this scenario. You met your dream guy on a Monday night at a social mixer. He couldn't keep his eyes off you. There was instant chemistry. He asks you out for Friday night, which appears to be a good sign as it's one of the weekend evenings. He takes your phone number and sends you a flirty text message on your ride home saying how he can't wait until Friday night.

You remember your first kiss with this handsome hunk the whole ride home. You think about what's on your calendar in the next week and how you can rearrange your schedule to fit him in, even before your first date.

More from YourTango: Martha Stewart Is Joining A Dating Site To "Sleep With Somebody"

You call your BFF with great enthusiasm about the new guy you just met. Your body is tingling with excitement. Is your imagination getting the best of you? Perhaps, yes. Read these signs to determine if it was love at first site or if your upcoming date is adding you to his harem.

1. He cancels your first date. Unless he's truly sick or has a business meeting out of town, your dream date may have been caught up in the moment when he double-booked you. If you hear excuses like he has the flu, or a relative came in from out of town at the last minute, if he's really that into you, he won't break your very important first date.

2. He asks you out for weeknight dates only. If you become the Wednesday night girl, you should be wondering what he is doing on a Friday or Saturday night. After a few dates, it's only appropriate to be on his calendar during a weekend evening.

3. He doesn't introduce you to his friends or family. After a few months of dating and several conversations for upcoming events with his friends and family that he never follows up on, don't believe he is going alone. There's probably someone else that is higher on the totem pole in his arms. You aren't his number one girl. Sure, it sounds logical, but he'll keep you hanging with promises of scheduling another event to take you to, to make sure he can still get you into bed.

4. He calls you last minute for dates.  If your dream date calls you the day of, or even the day before a date to get together, don't get excited and change your plans with your girlfriends to accommodate him. You aren't a priority if you aren't on the calendar at least several days beforehand. He may be asking several women out at the same time. Whoever responds first may end up being his booty call. You're a busy girl. Let him know he needs to plan several days in advance if he wants to see you. 

5. He consistently cancels dates at the last minute. If you are getting cancelled on the day of your date more than once, it's a red flag. Don't put up with it. The dog didn't eat his paper.

More from YourTango: How to Find a Date on St. Patrick's Day Online and Offline

6. He introduces you as his friend. If you are sleeping with a guy who doesn't call you his girlfriend, significant other, or other pet name in public, you're just a friend with benefits. Who cares that he brings you flowers? It's time to get out of your dream world and find a man who wants to call you his girl.

7. He disappears for days at a time. When your guy is MIA, especially on the weekends, and reappears with no explanation as if nothing is wrong, don't give him the benefit of the doubt. He's more than a magician. He's a professional juggler and quite simply, a player.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Julie Spira

Dating Coach

Julie Spira is a top online dating expert, bestselling author, dating advice columnist and coach, and media personality.  She's the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and is writing The Rules of Netiquette: How to Mind Your Digital Manners. Julie's been featured and quoted over 450 times in the news for her expertise on online dating and relationships including ABC News, BBC, CBS CNN, Cosmpolitan, E! Entertainment, ELLE, FOX, Galtime, Glamour, iVillage, Los Angeles Times, Mashable, Men's Fitness, Men's Health, New York Post, New York Times, Psychology Today, WIRED and Woman's Day. Her dating advice has appeared on eHarmony, JDate, Match, and Zoosk. Visit Cyber-Dating Expert.com and share your online dating stories. Follow Julie on Twitter @JulieSpira and Like Julie on Facebook.

Sign up for your Free eBook and audio bonus, The 5 Secrets to Finding Love Online and the Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Location: Los Angeles, CA
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by Julie Spira:

Martha Stewart Is Joining A Dating Site To "Sleep With Somebody"

By

—In the words of America's domestic goddess, Martha Stewart: "I'd like to go to bed with somebody. Sleep with somebody." Hang on a sec; it's not exactly what you think. On Friday, the 71-year-old grandmother told Matt Lauer on NBC's TODAY that she's been eager to get back in the dating scene again and even started to ... Read more

How to Find a Date on St. Patrick's Day Online and Offline

By

Whether you know the history of St. Patrick or not, it’s the perfect time to brush up on your flirting skills to get ready for spring fever. With St. Patrick’s Day on a Sunday, you can start the weekend early by celebrating today. To get into the spirit of St. Patrick’s Day, you don’t need to be Irish. If you practice these  ... Read more

'Friends With Benefits' Relationships On The Rise

By

Just in time for Valentines Day, Match.com released its third annual Singles in America study, which, among other iteresting findings, shows a drastic increase in friends with benefits (FWB) relationships from 2011 to 2012. According to the study, a whopping 47 percent of singles had a friends with benefits relationship in 2012, up from a meager 20% the year ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Courtship

7 Essential Things That Men Find Attractive About A Woman

Find out what your assets are and how to use them to your advantage.

empty nest: relationship advice for parents and their adult children

Empty Nest To Full House: When Your Kids Move Back Home

Your kids graduated school and they're moving back home ... now what?

Beach Body

The Link Between Sex and Health

There are numerous proven links between sex and health.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS