Top 5 Mistakes Women Make In Bed


worried sexy blonde woman
Do you make these classic, bedroom errors?

2. Being a passive partner. This shows up in a number of ways (including number one above, for that matter). Men don't necessarily want to have to run the show all the time. Be willing to initiate sex — men like to be seduced as well. Be willing to try new things. No one wants to have the same meal for dinner night after night after night. Learn to get comfortable being out of your comfort zone — you just might discover new pleasures and your partner will love you all the more for it.

3. Expecting your lover to perform on demand — anytime, anywhere. Contrary to what some men will have you believe, men do not have an instant "on" switch for sex. Men are entitled to be tired, stressed, not in the mood or interested in just cuddling, just as women are.

Respect the fact that just because you want sex doesn't mean your lover is wanting and willing to perform on demand. However, if you want to try and get him in the mood … remember that foreplay and seduction works the same way for him as it does for you. Slow, subtle, not so subtle, creative and varied approaches are just as important for men as they are for women. It is important to be sensitive to the moods and needs of your partner. Know when to back off and respect his "No, thank you" and learn how your man likes to be touched and stimulated before, during and after sex.

4. Talking during and after sex. Not that kind of talk, if you know what I mean. Let's face it ladies, we know how to talk and we know when we have a captive audience. But I was surprised to find out from men how many women use sexual encounters as the time to go over needs, complaints, schedules, problems, etc. with their mates.

The bottom line? Stop it. Turn off any non-sexy talk. This is the time to connect with your partner in tactile ways. Get out of your head and into your body and let your partner do the same. The same goes for post-coital time. It is common for men to drift off into sleep after they've had an orgasm. Their bodies are designed to do just that. Don't take it personally if your man is more inclined to sleep and less inclined to talk after sex. Give him some time to rest and recover without hassle. I promise, your man will quickly reconnect with more love and attention.

5. Not taking care of your hygiene. This one was a hard one for me to include but in all honesty, a lot of men have this complaint. So here's my suggestion on this one. Simply be aware of your overall health and hygiene. If you know you are going on a hot date with your honey, shower, shave and lotion yourself up with your favorite body lotion. Be aware of any infections and take good care of your health. Of course, the same goes for the men out there. Let's be responsible partners for each other when it comes to disease, cleanliness, birth control and health.

If you or someone you know is struggling with creating a strong and intimate relationship, please reach out and contact me. I am here to provide personalized guidance and coaching. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don't need to wait. You can begin the process today. Take advantage of the opportunity to receive the support and guidance you deserve.

As always, I'm here to support you in creating strong and powerful relationships.

And don't forget to catch me live every Friday at 2:30 p.m. PT on Pathways To Love W’ Julie Orlov on Call in with your questions and comments at 323-247-7443!

Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery

Retrieve Your FREE Relationship Assessment Quiz and see if your relationship is on track at

Create Relationships in Your Life That Work — learn more at

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Julie Orlov


Julie Orlov, MAOL, MSW, LCSW
Relationship Builder

Speaker, Psychotherapist, Coach and Author of The Pathway to Love:
Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery

Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Linked-In


Location: Hermosa Beach, CA
Credentials: LCSW, MSW, Other
Other Articles/News by Julie Orlov:

R-E-S-P-E-C-T: Find Out What It Means To YOU!


Mutual respect is key to successful relationships. Marriages take two people committed to the covenants of respect, and while every couple has the right and responsibility to define what that means to them, I'd thought I'd give you my definition (in acronym form) of RESPECT. Respond to each other's feelings and concerns in a thoughtful and non ... Read more

Don't Let Your Ex Sabotage Your Future


Even when you're ready to start dating after a breakup, your last relationship may be getting in the way. For example, if your ex was a great lover, you may compare his love making to every potential partner that comes your way. If your new love interest doesn't measure up, you may focus on the comparison, dismissing all the unique, wonderful qualities ... Read more

7 Ways To Deal With Your Empty Nest


It's that time of year. The school year is coming to a close and for those of you who are parents, this means dealing with endings and preparing yourself and your children for the new beginnings that lie ahead.  For those of you that have graduating seniors, like myself, it is a more poignant time of year. It is the time to begin the process of ... Read more

See More

Latest Expert Videos
Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Most Popular