Our brains are designed to focus on what is wrong. It does so in order to keep us safe—in other words, our focus on possible dangers is what keeps us alive. Unfortunately, this design mechanism does not necessarily serve our relationships. Many of the things we recognize as “wrong” in the people we love are simply misinterpreted actions based on our past experiences with others. We react more than we respond. We defend more than we seek to understand. And while it is important to recognize harmful actions and words, it is equally important to recognize those actions and words that bring us joy and fulfillment.
Thanksgiving, our national holiday of gratitude, gives us a reminder to focus on what is right in our lives. And since holidays involve being with family and friends, Thanksgiving is the perfect time to make a renewed commitment to showing our appreciation and gratitude toward the ones we love. Here are five ways to take Thanksgiving into your relationships for the next 365 days. How To Overcome Your Fear Of Commitment
1. Say “Thank you” for the little things people do. Just because you expect your husband to take out the trash doesn’t mean that a “thank you” is not in order. Show your appreciation. 5 Ways to Show Appreciation in Your Relationship
2. Make sure you demonstrate your love for others in the ways that they recognize and receive love. Some people want a hug, some people want to hear the words, and others want to know their needs matter through your actions. Find out how your loved ones prefer to receive love and speak their “language” whenever possible.
3. Remind yourself what it is that you like the most about your significant other. Make a list of those qualities you admire and respect. Find a way to acknowledge those qualities—sometimes simply saying “I love your ability to be so organized; it helps me stay organized myself” can make someone’s day.
4. Take the time to connect with your loved ones from your heart every day. We are so busy and have so many responsibilities that it gets easy for our focus to stay on getting things done and talking about the day’s events from our heads. Make sure you get out of your head for a moment every day and connect with your loved one from your heart. Look into their eyes and feel your love for them in your heart. I promise the heart energy that is generated will benefit you and your loved ones in profound ways.3 Steps To Tell Him How You Feel And Connect To His Heart
5. No matter how hard a moment in time may feel, remember that you and the people you love have the power to support one another in getting through hard times. It is through the spirit of connection and community that we not only survive together, but thrive together. Celebrate your relationships every day!
I wish you a wonderful Thanksgiving today and everyday throughout the year.
Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery
Create Relationships in Your Life That Work — learn more at www.julieorlov.com
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