Our culture puts way too much emphasis on couplehood. There is too much pressure for people to feel obligated to be in a romantic, intimate relationship that will last a lifetime. Personal success, worth, and lovability is associated with romantic relationships. It's as if something is wrong with you or your life if you are not in a committed relationship. And if you are choosing not to date at all, then you must truly be damaged goods. But this could not be further from the truth. So, for all of you single girls out there, here are some things you should know:
1. Just because you're in a relationship does not mean you're happy. Many people stay in bad relationships out of fear, insecurity, and dependency. Staying stunts their growth and denigrates their self-esteem and well-being. Some of the healthiest individuals walking around today are not in serious relationships. They choose to wait for a relationship that supports their growth rather than hinders it.
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2. People who jump from one relationship to another out of anxiety and fear often miss out on the opportunity to reconnect with themselves, decompress, and understand what they need to learn from their last relationship. Taking time out between relationships can be the best decision you'll ever make! Should You Sleep With Him On The First Date?
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3. Relationships require time, energy, and commitment. There are times when a person's time, energy, and commitment needs to be allocated in other places. If you're not already in a relationship or have just ended a relationship, taking the time to reflect on where and how to best focus your energies is important. Making a big career change, starting a demanding graduate program, raising young children, helping a dying parent may require you to put romantic relationship needs on hold so that other aspects of your life can be nurtured and attended. For those who are already in relationships, these major life circumstances usually impact the relationship and vice-versa. Not being in one can provide more space until you are more able to expand your attention elsewhere.
4. There are many types of relationships that provide enormous support, intimacy, and fun. The world of relationships does not begin and end with romantic ones. For many people, having family, friends, children, co-workers, and pets offer as much if not more than any one romantic partner can. Just because you don't have a romantic partner does not mean that you do not have a lot of love in your life. Some people simply prefer some types of relationships over others. There is no right or wrong way to live your life at any one time. People who are going it solo have rich and wonderful lives.