Single & Looking? Separate The Hype From The Truth


Single & Looking? Separate The Hype From The Truth

The truth is you can find love when you actively seeking it online or you can find love when you are focused on finding a parking place at the mall. Timing, chemistry and compatibility are complex in nature. No one can make this happen. It just does.

  • There is something wrong with you because you have not found the right person for you to spend the rest of your life with. Everyone’s journey is unique. We are not meant to have the same paths; this includes our time being single, married, attached, divorced, dating, or widowed. Nothing is forever, nothing. Don’t waste time making your life wrong because it doesn’t look like (fill in the blank). Live your life. Celebrate your life. Because in truth, it is what it is—you don’t have as much control over your life as you and others would have you believe. 
  • There is something wrong with being single. Many singles are happy and satisfied—they have full and complete lives and make contributions to the world in many ways. Some of my best days have been living as a single person. Some of my worst days have been living as a married person. They’re all a package deal.
  • Do believe…

    • Your life is exactly as it should be. There is no reason to resist being single. As long as you are hanging out in this circumstance, you might as well enjoy it. And if you don’t like what this moment has to offer… a new moment is just a moment away.
    • Love is always available and in your life. Don’t get caught up in the hype of romantic love. As great as it is when it is good, there are many ways and many people to love. Love is love no matter what form it takes. Don’t miss all the places love lives in your life right now.
    • You are lovable as is and deserve to be with someone who treats you with respect, kindness, and dignity. Act accordingly. Make powerful choices that are in alignment with your well-being. Treat others with respect, kindness, and dignity.
    • No relationship is perfect. A great relationship is a process and requires a commitment to acquire the skills and know-how to work through issues as they arise in a way that results in more love and intimacy, not less.
    • It is good to seek guidance and support along the way as needed. Sometimes we can’t see how and when we are getting in our own way. We play it safe when we want to play all out. Do your due diligence. People in the helping profession can show you the way but they can’t do the work for you. Personal growth requires personal responsibility and a willingness to do the work and commit to the long haul. There really are no short cuts. 
    • You can have a strong and intimate relationship. I just can’t promise who you can have that with. You don’t have control over other human beings. You only have control over you. So keep focusing on keeping your end of the street clean—that is where your power and happiness lives.
    • That a lifetime of love and self-discovery awaits you. Enjoy the ride!

    Please visit to learn more on how I can support you on your journey. And as always, I’m here to help you create strong and powerful relationships.

    More from YourTango: Reflect On Past, Present & Future: 6 Exercises For A Happy 2014

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    Article contributed by
    Advanced Member

    Julie Orlov


    Julie Orlov, MAOL, MSW, LCSW
    Relationship Builder

    Speaker, Psychotherapist, Coach and Author of The Pathway to Love:
    Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery

    Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Linked-In


    Location: Hermosa Beach, CA
    Credentials: LCSW, MSW, Other
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