The Number 1 Trait that will get you through the Bumps in the Roa

By

The Number 1 Trait that will get you through the Bumps in the Roa
All long-term relationships have bumps in the road. Learn the #1 trait that will see you through.

As you settle into a long-term relationship, you settle into its particular rhythm. Every relationship has one and every rhythm is unique to that relationship. Sometimes you will affect your relationship; sometimes life will impact its ebb and flow.  Either way, you can be sure that your path will not be a smooth ride without any bumps or detours. Yours may look something like this—

Everything has been going just fine for some time until one day you discover that your significant other has kept something from you. You experience an upset and the relationship feels rocky. After some weeks of arguing, distancing, discussing and forgiving, the relationship feels good once again and a deeper sense of intimacy ensues. You feel very much in love and are relieved that the crisis has passed and the relationship survived. Time moves forward—you both get busy with work and day to day responsibilities. You enjoy the feeling of normalcy as you move through life together until one day you begin to feel ignored and bored. You realize that you aren’t having sex as much or as passionately. You notice that you spend more time at home watching TV than having a nice time out together. You don’t know what happened. Your significant other is experiencing the same thing but is less inclined to do anything about it. You begin to plan some fun things to do but are secretly resentful that your partner is not doing the same. You feel alone and sad. Some time passes and you receive an invitation to a friend’s wedding. You both have such a great time dancing at the wedding that you decide to sign up for a dance class together. This class ends up being a blessing. You and your partner feel reconnected. New life has been ignited into the relationship. More time passes and one day your significant other tells you that he’s been laid off from work. Despite all his efforts, he has difficulty finding work and sinks into a depression. You feel helpless, not knowing how to help him and the future feels less secure. More time goes by and…

You get the picture. It’s called Life. People who have been in long-term relationships and marriages will all tell you the same thing—long-term relationships require a long-term perspective. There will always be moments when things feel great, good, okay, challenging, and at the brink of disaster. Life guarantees it. Patience is what enables you to win. People who practice patience are better equipped to get through the tough times and relish the good times. Patience understands that

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Julie Orlov

Counselor/Therapist

Julie Orlov, MAOL, MSW, LCSW
Relationship Builder

Speaker, Psychotherapist, Coach and Author of The Pathway to Love:
Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery
jorlov@julieorlov.com www.julieorlov.com
www.julieorlovconsulting.com
310-379-5855

Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Linked-In

 

Location: Hermosa Beach, CA
Credentials: LCSW, MSW, Other
Other Articles/News by Julie Orlov:

10 Ways To Be The Best Relationship Role Model, Ever!

By

We all want our children to be happy and have healthy, loving relationships. While you may feel lucky enough to have a wonderful loving adult relationship, most of us struggle in our relationships from time to time and we worry about how that will impact our children's ability to create healthy relationships in their own lives. Whether you believe you ... Read more

Don't Lose Your Cool: Top 6 Signs Of Dating Desperation

By

Nothing turns people off more than desperation and neediness. And if you are getting serious about finding love in 2015, you will want to stay away from people who need you to make themselves whole, fixed, or stable. And you certainly don't want to be a desperate dater yourself. Whether you are a seasoned dater or just staring out after a hiatus, here ... Read more

5 Ways To Get Your Power Back And End Emotional Abuse

By

If you've ever been in a controlling relationship, you know how easy it is to get caught in its web. It usually starts out with a simple suggestion like, "Do you think that outfit is the best you can do for the banquet tonight?" or "I think you're better off ordering the salad," or "You should get a real job and stop all ... Read more

See More

 
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Most Popular