Is The Grass Always Greener On The Other Side?

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Is The Grass Always Greener On The Other Side?
Learn how to appreciate your status whether you're single or taken. Each one has benefits and costs.

"The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence." Sound familiar? It should. This well-known phrase captures what every person in or out of a relationship thinks from time to time. If you’re currently single, you may be thinking about how much you miss having a partner—someone with whom you can share love, laughter, and life experiences. You long for someone to hold and be with—a relationship that fills those basic human needs and alleviates your moments of loneliness and emptiness.

If you’re in a committed relationship, you just may be thinking about days gone by when you did not have to answer to anyone. When you could sleep, eat, play and shop; when, where and how you pleased. You long for some alone time and the feeling of independence. You miss your freedom.

 

I want you to know that "missing" the other side is not only normal, but expected. There are benefits and costs to being single and coupled. There will always be a longing, an appreciation and a loss, regardless of your relationship status. It is not a matter of if you feel these things, it is how you move through these times of discontent. No one package is perfect. So here are some realties and coping strategies to help you deal with your moments of doubt.

If you are transitioning from singlehood to couplehood, be prepared to deal with the following:

At times you will experience...

  • Less time to see friends and family as you had previously been accustomed to.
  • Less time for yourself.
  • Eating more and possibly gaining weight (singles tend to eat less).
  • A lack of sleep—sleeping with another person can be disruptive, especially if they snore, roll over, or talk in their sleep.
  • A loss of autonomy in how you spend your time and money—this increases as your relationship moves toward more commitment and marriage.
  • Yearning for the days when you could date different people and party more.
  • Less freedom to independently make life choices and act accordingly.

If you’ve transitioned from couplehood to singlehood, be prepared to deal with the following: Keep Reading...

More relationship advice from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Julie Orlov

Counselor/Therapist

Julie Orlov, MAOL, MSW, LCSW
Relationship Builder

Speaker, Psychotherapist, Coach and Author of The Pathway to Love:
Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery
jorlov@julieorlov.com www.julieorlov.com
www.julieorlovconsulting.com
310-379-5855

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Location: Hermosa Beach, CA
Credentials: LCSW, MSW, Other
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