Fifth, make sex a priority. The benefits are worth it. It helps dissolve pettiness and pickiness. The dinner dishes left in the sink won’t bother you as much; the clothes left on the floor will go unnoticed and the fact that your spouse forgot to walk the dog once again, may not turn out to be a big deal. Instead you may find yourself doing the dishes for your spouse or walking the dog yourself without resentment. You may even find yourself wanting to do that something special for your mate as a surprise. You may find you have some extra energy, a glow about you, and a feeling of being in love once again.
Sixth, remember that life has its ups and downs and so will your sex life. Children will be born, family deaths will ensue, illnesses will occur. Know that if life is getting in the way today, this will pass. There will come a time when you can get your sexy back. So be patient and understanding with yourself and your partner when these times come around. Go back to working as a team, focusing on how best to meet the relationship’s needs given what stressors and circumstances are working on the relationship at the moment. Or better yet, incorporate some intimacy as a means to help support each other as you move through the transition.
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Last, physical intimacy does not need to be fireworks every time. Holding each other, kissing, or even talking can provide the same benefits as passionate and hot sex. True intimacy includes the physical, but is not limited by it. Explore new ways to express and deepen your intimacy. Go beyond the sexual experience and you just may find a whole new world waiting for you. And remember to have fun!
Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery
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