Love Language: 5 Words That Will Ruin Your Marriage

By

swear jar: bad words for your marriage
Avoid these five words at all costs.

5. "Divorce." Threatening to divorce, suggesting divorce as an option, or accusing your spouse of destroying the marriage will lead to just that. A divorce is a very serious decision, and using it as a weapon or method of control creates anxiety and despair. It's not conducive for effective communication, conflict resolution, problem solving, or intimacy.

Take the time to think about the impact of your words before you speak to your spouse. Consider what you want to create with the communication. Create a powerful and loving intention rather than one that is meant to hurt, control, scare or push away the person you love. Find words that are conducive to creating intimacy. These might include phrases like, "I notice that when I [blank], you react by [blank]. When you do [blank], I feel [blank]. It would mean a lot to me if you would [blank], because when you do, I feel [blank]." And: "I want our marriage to feel good to both of us. How can we approach things in a way that makes us both feel heard, appreciated, accepted, and loved?"

Learning new ways of communicating and relating to each other is not easy. Couples get trapped into certain ways of relating that have been established early on in the relationship. If you or someone you know needs help in learning how to communicate effectively and lovingly, please contact me. I am here to provide personalized guidance and coaching. And if you want to start right now, purchase "The Pathway to Love" at-home program. You don't need to wait. You can begin the process today. Take advantage of the opportunity to receive the support and guidance you deserve.

Julie Orlov is a psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships Through Self-Discovery. Retrieve your FREE Relationship Assessment Quiz and see if your relationship is on track at www.julieorlov.com/quiz. Create relationships in your life that work: Learn more at www.julieorlov.com.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Julie Orlov

Counselor/Therapist

Julie Orlov, MAOL, MSW, LCSW
Relationship Builder

Speaker, Psychotherapist, Coach and Author of The Pathway to Love:
Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery
jorlov@julieorlov.com www.julieorlov.com
www.julieorlovconsulting.com
310-379-5855

Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Linked-In

 

Location: Hermosa Beach, CA
Credentials: LCSW, MSW, Other
Other Articles/News by Julie Orlov:

10 Awesome (And Not-So-Awesome) Reasons You're Single

By

Too many people feel like they're sentenced to a lifetime of loneliness and singlehood. They see themselves as failures because they haven’t found the one or have found and lost the one more than once. I'd like to offer another perspective on the issue. For those of you who feel like you've somehow failed at love, think again. In truth, ... Read more

R-E-S-P-E-C-T: Find Out What It Means To YOU!

By

Mutual respect is key to successful relationships. Marriages take two people committed to the covenants of respect, and while every couple has the right and responsibility to define what that means to them, I'd thought I'd give you my definition (in acronym form) of RESPECT. Respond to each other's feelings and concerns in a thoughtful and non ... Read more

Don't Let Your Ex Sabotage Your Future

By

Even when you're ready to start dating after a breakup, your last relationship may be getting in the way. For example, if your ex was a great lover, you may compare his love making to every potential partner that comes your way. If your new love interest doesn't measure up, you may focus on the comparison, dismissing all the unique, wonderful qualities ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Most Popular