I received an email the other day from a woman who read my article “7 Reasons to Acknowledge Anniversaries”—she requested an article in kind about Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day presents us with a double bind. On the one hand, we are bombarded with advertisements, talk show segments, and subtle (or not so subtle) messages on how important it is to do the right thing by your sweetheart. On the other hand, people push back on the commercial hype and pressure, holding Valentine’s Day responsible for the inevitable disappointment that ensues, claiming it is a “contrived Hallmark” holiday designed to put unrealistic expectations on love and relationships. These individuals tend to rebel, choosing to ignore the holiday all together or do the bare minimum of bringing home some flowers and calling it a day. And then of course, there are those out there who do not currently have a sweetheart, many of which hide out for the 24 hours until all the focus on lovers fades so that they can once again, feel good about being single.
So how do we reconcile all these conflicting feelings about Valentine’s Day? After all, it is supposed to be the holiday of love, not dread. So in honor of those of you that still believe in a day that celebrates love, I’m offering 5 reasons to celebrate Valentine’s Day with. And for those of you that wish this holiday would simply go away and stay away, read on—you just might find a good reason to celebrate come February 14th!
First a disclaimer—this article is designed to focus on why women want and need their men to step up on Valentine’s Day. I am in no way discounting the importance of demonstrating your love and affection toward your man and you will find this sentiment throughout the article. However, the reality is that women tend to have higher expectations than men when it comes to this holiday. And on Valentine’s Day, it is the man who holds more of the burden in coming through with romance and attention. Fair or not, it simply is what it is. So I’ve chosen to focus more on helping men understand why this day is so important to their women and what is available to them from coming through so that they can have another perspective from which to act. My intention is not to add more pressure—my intention is to provide more motivation to please your sweetheart with less pressure and resentment, and more pleasure and excitement.
In other words, this one is for you ladies…
It’s your day to shine, gentlemen! While there are some men that remember to bring home flowers and romance their women throughout the year, for many, life and routine gets in the way. Look at Valentine’s Day as your annual reminder to show your woman just how much she means to you. It is your opportunity to demonstrate your love in a romantic, thoughtful way.
Valentine’s is a day to have fun and be creative. Most women care less about how much money you spend and more about how much thought and effort went into the making. Enjoy thinking about what will please your sweetheart. This is the day to choose a restaurant or activity that she will enjoy. A wise woman knows when the effort has been made and will appreciate that no matter what. Men--this is your day to be appreciated.
You have the chance to leave work and other worries behind and focus solely on your relationship’s needs and those of your mate. Most women love to be nurtured and cared for. And many women feel they give more than they receive. This is the day to nurture and care for your lover. I promise you that when a woman feels like a princess, she treats her man like a prince. Your efforts will come back three fold. And ladies, the same goes for you—treat your man like a prince and he will shine like one!
Valentine’s Day is a day for women to look and feel like a woman so that her man sees her as the sexy, beautiful creature that she is. It’s also a day for men to get out of jeans and sweats and remind his woman of the dashing, charming man that he is. Play dress up and enjoy the opportunity to court, seduce, and bedazzle each other!
And lastly, this is the time to connect and enjoy each other sexually. Make love to your mate with passion and abandon. Enjoy each other. Take your time. One of the greatest pleasures for men is in pleasing their lover (again ladies, the same goes for you). See your woman as your lover on Valentine’s Day and not solely a wife, mother, career woman, or housemate. For those of you who aren’t sure how to go about this, read my article “The Top 5 Mistakes Men Make in Bed” - I promise you will make her swoon.
I wish all of you, regardless of your circumstances, a Valentine's Day filled with love and joy!
If you or someone you know is struggling with creating a strong and intimate relationship, please reach out and contact me. I am here to provide personalized guidance and coaching. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today. Take advantage of the opportunity receive the support and guidance you deserve.
Don’t forget to join me for my LIVE Create Your Pathway to Love Workshop on February 23, 9am-1pm in Hermosa Beach, California. For more information and to register, go to www.yourpathwaytolove.eventbrite.com.
And don’t forget to catch me LIVE every Friday at 2:30pm PT on Pathways to Love w’ Julie Orlov on www.latalklive.com/new/pathways-to-love. Call in with your questions and comments at 323-247-7443 or Skype LATalkLive or comment on FB at www.facebook.com/JulieOrlov
As always, I’m here to support you in creating strong and powerful relationships.
Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery
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