When Your Guy's MANNERS Are Lacking...

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When Your Guy's MANNERS Are Lacking...
Your date didn't open your car door and he talks with his mouth full -- should you dump him?

As a personal matchmaker, http://www.CupidsCoach.com MANNERS are a frequent topic of discussion. My personal matchmaking client, Maria asked me if she should dump the new guy she's been seeing, because she says his "manners are lacking" -- Let's explore what he did that disappointed her and what the fix might be.

Here's what John did "wrong" in Maria's eyes.

 

He didn't call her to confirm plans. The two of them had agreed a week ahead to meet up on Saturday evening for dinner and a movie. She was expecting a call from him to confirm, and she was aggravated that on Saturday morning she hadn't heard from him and she felt abandoned.  She's wondering, "Is he inconsiderate? Is he not really interested in me? Is he a flake? Is he dating someone else?" 

In reality, John's week was a really challenging one - his company's office manager died suddenly and he was caught up with funeral details and urgent business matters that captured his attention. In his mind, the date was set for Saturday evening and he was fully planning on being with Maria that evening.  Fortunately, Maria handled this perfectly.  She took the initiative to send him a sweet (not chastizing) text message on Saturday morning saying "How was your week? I'm looking forward to our date tonight -- just say when and where and I'll be there."  To which John instantly replied with the details and they met up as planned. Men are single focused by nature, and so if he's got his attention or energy pulled in another direction he might miss an opportunity and it's GREAT that Maria gave him a gentle nudge and saved the date and the new budding relationship.

Manners -- How a man should ideally behave on a date.  Such an important element to study and to wrestle with. Maria's pretty traditional  -- she really appreciates those go-the-extra-mile gestures -- when he makes sure she gets to her car safely, having doors opened for her, when he orders for her at a restaurant, etc. She wants her guy to be thoughtful and giving.

-- Thoughtful/Giving -- Let's have some fun digging into that element.  Have you read the book "The Five Love Languages" by Chapman?  http://www.5lovelanguages.com
It could be that he has other ways of showing his love and appreciation for the woman in his life.  Did he pay for the date?  Did he make an attempt to be a good listener? Did he offer any compliments?  It's fun to watch to see how a man chooses to give and to see  how he tends to like to receive as well. 

Article contributed by

Julie Ferman

Dating Coach

Julie Ferman, Master of Matchmaking

www.JulieFerman.com

Awarded Best Matchmaker: 2013, 2012, 2011, 2010 by iDate and Online Personals Watch

Location: Westlake Village, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support, Life Management, Matchmaking
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