Expert Blog Compelling advice, stories, and thought-provoking perspectives straight from YourTango's lineup of experts to you

Give A Shot To The Guys Who Think You're Hot

Love

TIP: Embrace the reality that a man will only pursue you if he's attracted from the get-go.

Have you ever met a man who really didn't float your boat (visually) at first, but then after you spent some time together he became...adorable?  As a professional matchmaker, http://www.CupidsCoach.com  I've been asking this question to women for over twenty years, and 85% of the women I've surveyed say Yes to this question. The unfortunate reality is that when I ask this very same question to men about women, it's a wholly different scenario; less than 5% of the men I've surveyed say that they can and do develop physical attraction for a woman over time. Oh, my...

We hate this, don't we? It makes us think that men are superficial Shallow Hal's who care only about sex or about having trophy wives to display to the world. But in reality, as much as we want to have equality with men in all ways, this distinction between men and women is just inherent, built right into our biology and theirs.

It makes sense if we think about it - as women, we want our partners to be turned on to us. We want "his equipment" to work and the truth of the matter is that if he's not attracted, his equipment just won't function as designed. No woman wants to be stuck in a relationship with a man who thinks she's...not hot.

As women have gained more and more equality, we're also behaving more like men in the dating arena, targeting the men we're interested in (online and out there in the world) and we're chasing after them more than we have in the history of mankind. Unfortunately, this is a really frustrating and less than fruitful way for you to date, as the bottom line is that you ONLY have a shot at the guy who thinks YOU are hot.

If you're been doing the picking, the ONE thing I'll advise you to change is to make this shift. Respond to and really consider more seriously the men who ARE looking your way, who are initiating contact with you online, who are inviting you out on second dates, as you really DO have a chance with this group of men.

As Cupid's Coach http://www.cupidscoach.com I am working with a gentleman Client at the moment who tends to be attrracted only to super skinny Asian women. Another is a man who really likes a full-figured woman - he digs Kardashian curves. Another has a thing for redheads and another is very attracted to tall, busty women. 

The secret is not to fight it. Like it or not, the guy simply MUST be attracted to you, and if he's not, move on, And the guy who IS knocking at your door - if he has the three or four qualities and attributes on the very top of your Wish List, HE is the one to receive and to encourage.

Give a Shot to the guy who thinks YOU are Hot and you will find your dating life transform.

 

From our Partners

Explore YourTango

MOST POPULAR