Be Your Matchmaker's Dream Client
By Julie Ferman. Posted on .
The Cupid's Coach Matchmaking team http://www.cupidscoach.com studied our 2012 success story couples to develop our list of the Top Five Strategies For Ensuring Success as a Matchmaking Client. Here's what these Clients did right, allowing us to enable for them this great new relationship through Cupid's Coach http://cupidscoach.com/NewRegister.aspx
1. Ask not what your date can do or be for you - focus your attention outward asking yourself, "How can you contribute to and enrich this person's life? How can I brighten this person's day?" The Clients who sailed off into loving relationships this past year were those who brought happiness to their dating experiences, rather than expecting a particular outcome in order to be happy.
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2. When disaster strikes, assume the best, grant the benefit of the doubt. Bill was disappointed that he arrived on time for his drinks date with Claire and after 20 minutes...still no sign of her. Did he get huffy and leave? Nope. He handled some emails on his cell phone, he ordered a drink, he kept his cool and when she did arrive, he gave her a warm, gracious hug. He thought the date was at 6pm, she thought it was at 6:30. Who was right? Who knows...but by giving her the benefit of the doubt and by keeping his mind and heart open the date went beautifully and now they're dating exculsively.
3. Keep asking yourself, What's reasonable? What's realistic? Beth is highly attractive 57 year old business owner who finds herself drawn to men who are typically 5-10 years younger than she is. We saw a pattern emerging as we moved through our series of introductions together -- she was getting far more second date invitations from men who were closer to her own age and who were a tad bit older than she is and she began embracing the possibility that this "younger, hotter" man might just be out of her reach for long term relationship. She began practicing the art of saying Yes, looking for what's right vs. what's wrong with her suitor and voila.... she's in a happy relationship with a man who's two years older than she is and they're both delighted.
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4. Manage your expectations, reserve judgment. Monica admitted to having fallen into a dating trap after a couple of years of concentrated online dating. She had become quick to judge, dismissing suitor after suitor for not being quite perfect enough. As our personal matchmaking Client, she followed my advice, making a list of all of the positive and negative attributes in each of the men she met through Cupid's Coach http://cupidscoach.com/NewRegister.aspx, sticking with the assignment until she was able to discipline herself to recognize more positives than negatives with each person. She had an AHA moment when she realized that she was vetoing men who really did have the critical elements that she most wants to see in her future partner. She said that once she got her "Fussy Factor" in check, she was better able to see the good shining through. She's enjoying a healthy, happy relationship with a man who she would have dismissed a year ago for what she calls "silly reasons."
5. Say Yes to Date Number Two and Date Number Three. It takes three times for two people to be together for that thing called bonding to start to take place. The one thing that Carol did as our Client that she'd not been doing was to give her suitors a second and usually a third date..for a change. As a 37 year old woman who's successful, very attractive and also deservedly selective she wondered if she was missing opportunities with her typical rapid-fire dating approach, so she did dating differently during his time with us as a Client. Today Carol is madly in love with a man who didn't instantly grab her physically, but who she finds thoroughly adorable now that he's in her life, by her side. In short, she gave a shot to the guy who finds her hot, and that has made all the difference.
