How Silent Signals Save Relationships (You're Welcome)


Couples who communicate together, stay together.

Sometimes working on how we communicate can be as important as what we communicate.

Most couples can relate to those awkward moments when you just wish your spouse could read your mind.

For example, you may not want to socialize with a particular person or your spouse may be about to say something you will both regret.

We'd like to think our spouses are attuned to our every need, but that is not a realistic expectation, nor is it fair.

To avoid the fallout of a faux pas, I recommend to the couples I counsel is to develop 'Silent Signals' beforehand.

A 'Silent Signal' is a simple gesture, known only to you and your spouse, such as the squeezing of your spouses' hand in a particular way.

This way you can subtly alert your spouse to extricate you both from impending disaster. As an added bonus, sharing secret codes always draws co-conspirators closer together.

As published in Jeleh Donaldson's book "Making Marriage a Success" (2011).

Julie Dubovoy, LCSW-R is a Licensed Clinical Social Working specializing in Children, Families, and Relationship. She can be contacted by for further questions or guidance.



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