Over 40? Not sure if your ready to date again? These 6 points will help assess your readiness.
For some the last time you dated, George H Bush was president and Top Gun was a popular date movie. Fast-forward 25 years and here you are faced with dating… again. You may have experienced divorce, the death of a spouse or found yourself still searching for someone wonderful to love never expecting to be over 40 and on the dating scene. Albeit you understand that things have changed since you last dated, you are not sure if you have what it takes to enter back into the dating world... I often approach assisting my clients reentering the dating world by assessing whether or not they are ready.
If you are finding yourself preparing to date again and not sure if you are ready to embark on this journey, here are some points to consider when determining relationship readiness:
1) I am ready to make dating a priority ~Are you willing to make dating a priority? Be mindful that Mr. Wonderful is not going to come knocking on your door. You must make dating a priority, whether choosing online dating, singles events or out sourcing your search to a matchmaker, you need to make time for dating.
2) I have learned and grown from my past relationships ~ We all have baggage, but I suggest you check yours at the door. Are you able to leave your anger, fear and past negative experiences behind? Are you able to bring the positive things that you have learned and have helped you grow into the next relationship? And are you willing to trust in a new relationship?
3) I am ready to compromise in a relationship ~ In an adult relationship there is need for compromise, that shouldn’t be confused with settling. Compromise has three basic elements in a healthy relationship: mutual respect, complete honesty about how you feel and think, and finally good intentions. When understanding that compromise is giving to the relationship, rather than giving into a relationship; you will feel more confident in your compromise.
4) I have a lot to offer a relationship and I want to share my life with someone wonderful ~ You have reached a point in your life where you realize an intimate, loving relationship is a priority for you. You are ready to make time and do the work involved in finding your significant other. You are confident that what you will bring to a relationship is the ability to love and be loved in return.
5) I am ready to do the work to find someone wonderful to love ~ As I stated earlier Mr. Wonderful is not going to knock on your door. The notion of “working to find a relationship” might not sound romantic, but from the work the romance will come. Staying home is not an option and getting out there is your best option. Take a class at a local community college or adult school, volunteer, GO ONLINE and ask your personal community (friends, family, coworkers and neighbors) if they know anyone wonderful they could introduce you to, you might be surprised by the support you receive.
6) I have realistic expectations ~ I know my clients are ready for LOVE when they don’t come to Coaching or Matchmaking with a rigid set of expectations and a laundry list of must haves or deal breakers. They are willing to embrace the process, they lead with their heart, and simply want nothing more than to find someone wonderful to love and share their life with.
As a Date Coach and Matchmaker, I am often faced with the client who is filled with trepidation or fear of the unknown when entering back into the modern dating world. As a former therapist I understand full well that there is an emotional component involved in moving forward. However, if you are willing to positively embrace the journey as exciting and fun you might just find LOVE along the way.