50 Things You Should Try For Hotter Sex
ProConnect

4 Tips To Improve Your Communication

By

4 Tips To Improve Your Communication
Remember when you used to talk about everything together? Make it a habit in your daily routine!

We all know we should spend more quality time talking to our partners, but knowing how to have heart-to-heart talks in the busy-ness of everyday life is easier said than done.

Couples therapy experts recommend spending a bit of time together every day to check in with each other. This is more realistic and sustainable when combined with an activity you’re already be doing every day, such as having breakfast or dinner together, or when you settle down and get comfy at night.

More from YourTango: How To Get Your Partner Into Couples Therapy

Ideal would be to do this in a similar way every day, making sure to eliminate distractions. Take turns talking and listening. Here are some ideas on how to have the best outcome:

Show that you’re interested
Ask questions that demonstrate that you really want to know, such as: How did that meeting go? What did you find out? What was the best/worst part? How do you feel about that? What does that mean to you? What are you going to do next?

Show that you get it
Say things like: Wow, that sounds stressful! I bet that’s not at all what you expected. You have a lot on your plate!

Show that you understand the feelings
That’s really sad. You must be furious! I can understand why you feel disappointed. I bet you’re so relieved! When that happened to me, I was a mess!

More from YourTango: Getting Your Money's Worth in Couples Therapy

Show that you’re on your partner’s side
Congratulations! I’m so proud of you! He said what? - That guy is a total jerk! How could she treat you like that?

None of this is "new", but how often do we only half-listen, or focus only on the content of what is being said rather than our partner’s underlying feelings, or are tempted to correct our partner’s perspective, or worse, take a third party’s side? Exactly. So it is really about making that conscious effort to be present and mindful, and making it a daily habit.

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Julia Flood

Counselor/Therapist

In my San Francisco practice I help couples in crisis break out of the vicious cycle of hurting and getting hurt. Call me at (415) 820-3210 or email me at julia@newstarttherapy.com. http://www.newstarttherapy.com

Location: San Francisco, CA
Credentials: LCSW
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues
Other Articles/News by Julia Flood:

How To Get Your Partner Into Couples Therapy

By

When you realize that your marriage or committed relationship would benefit from relationship counseling, what follows is the challenge of "selling" this idea to your partner. Sometimes partners may initially refuse to participate in couples counseling because they feel blamed for all of the problems. So how can you communicate to your partner your ... Read more

Getting Your Money's Worth in Couples Therapy

By

Holidays often bring out the worst in family relationships, and a couple's relationship is no exception. Transitioning to a new year, many couples are considering marriage counseling, but want to make sure that their time and money is well spent. Consequently, they invest great care in selecting a couples therapist as an expert to provide direction, tools, ... Read more

The Benefits of Saying "Ouch"

By

Picture someone stepping on your toe. You wince and might say "ouch", and the guilty party will most likely turn around and apologize profusely. How strange would it be if they didn't, or even explained to you how it wasn't their fault, it wasn't meant that way, and you shouldn't be offended. Now you probably don't get hurt ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Staying Dry

Letting Go Is Hard To Do

Healing your heart after divorce or loss of a spouse is worth the effort. Letting go is hard to do.

cozy up

Showing Love Through Touch

Touch is so incredibly important in relationships.

happiest

Listen Up, Darling: A Sex Kitten Is Never Hangry or Tired

Recently I shared eight surprising traits of a sex kitten. Each of those traits are ones that ...

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no timeā€¦

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS