You can do this.
When you have great expectations of a long-term relationship and lasting love, you feel good about yourself and confident for the future. Then you get the dreaded breakup and immediately go from the heights of excitement to the depths of disappointment.
Being dumped can change your life and confidence in an instant.
You're crushed and broken-hearted. You question your judgment, your intelligence, your inner beauty and your outer appearance. Your self-esteem, which was never rock solid, takes a nose dive.
Have you ever been kicked in the teeth like that?
Life is like a roller coaster, continually going up and down. Sometimes accidents happen. Sometimes we sabotage ourselves and are our own worst enemies. Sometimes we get hit with a series of blows that can almost devastate us.
But no matter how bad the situation is, we always have choices. Here are some ideas to kick you in the fanny and get you back on the road to your highest sense of well-being.
1. Write down your disappointments.
Getting your problems on paper is very therapeutic. Many people feel that if they ignore the problem it will go away. It won't; it will simply fester in your imagination until it takes a distorted form. There's a great weight lifted from your shoulders and spirit when you take time to think about what happened rather than pretending it never happened.
2. Tell the truth.
Be brutally honest without beating yourself up. Don't forget that getting dumped can throw you off balance and mess with your point of view. Don't add meaning and importance to the events, but be truthful about what happened.
3. Quit taking it personally.
Sometimes things happen and it really has nothing to do with you personally. You're going to feel the ramifications, but it's not about you personally; it's important to accept the fact that even your mistakes or failures aren't an accurate measure of who you are and what you're capable of.
4. Acknowledge where you are.
You can never solve a problem until you acknowledge that you have one and accept the personal responsibility for solving it.
5. Forgive yourself and your offender.
I know, not easy to do. Go back to the list of disappointments and mistakes in step one and write this across each thing on the list: "I forgive you and will let the experience make me a better person." That person negatively influenced your past. Are you willing to allow them to harm your future or put a lid on your capabilities?
6. Take action.
Being dumped can really hurt your self-esteem and make you feel stuck. The only way to feel unstuck is to get moving. Make a positive call. Go for a walk and smile at everyone. Re-structure your resume. Lose some weight. Take a yoga class. Buy a new shirt. Do anything that moves you forward and gets you out of the hole.
The Universe rewards movement, and just by taking these six steps you will find your energy, self-esteem, confidence and well-being returning to balance.