Family resilience is the ability to bounce back from the adversities and bad luck that befall us. No family or individual is immune from misfortune and tragedy. Daily life is filled with challenges to individual members of the family and sometimes to the family unit itself.
As the economy becomes more unstable and family finances go up and down, I see those families who are able to weather the storm and those who are devastated and destroyed.
Functioning Families Hang On
In my work as a family coach I see daily evidence of those families who can hang on to each other until a solution is found. These families have developed a system and ability to spring back from bad times.
Their struggle to get through a tough situation is admirable. I have noticed that they all seem to have intuitively used these 5 coping skills.
1. Panic With Purpose-Once the panic stage is over; they step back from the pain and look at life more objectively.
2. No Blame or Shame-They did not buy into or assign guilt or blame. It was not someone’s fault, but rather a situation to be solved.
3. Remember Coping Successes-They bring up past successes of their family and other families they know and admire and how they coped with pain and disappointment. They assess their areas of strengths.
4. Brain Storm Ideas-They take a clear look at the problem and brainstorm solutions. They recognize that there are always a minimum of five methods of solving any situation
5. Move Forward- The new way may not feel comfortable at first, but the lines of communication are kept open and adjustments are made.