You feel like the man you loved and had children with, all those years ago, can no longer see you. He dates freely and invites friends over as though you aren’t even there. The real tragedy is no longer the divorce. The gripping tragedy today, is that because of financial circumstances, both of you are still living in the same house.
The children are confused (to say the least) and you don’t understand how your feelings of jealously can be all consuming, especially when you were so relieved that the divorce was final last year. You were looking forward to your new life. What is going on? You are unable to date because you are not able to establish healthy boundaries where you are. You just want to scream!
Stress has taken on a new meaning and there is no end in sight. This is a tragic scene that is being played out all over America and beyond! Couples divorce and are unable to freely move on because they simply cannot climb out of debt enough for each spouse to live independently. Believe me; it is not as easy for your ex-husband as it appears. You are both stuck in a very dysfunctional living arrangement.
This is often a very real circumstance, but for others, the need can be developed out of fear. Learn which is true for you by going deep inside and answering some very powerful questions. Take time alone and contemplate before answering. You might be surprised what you learn about yourself and your circumstances.
- What boundaries do I need to put in place for myself and for my children? Who could I look to for support? (Parents, grown children, spiritual advisor, coach, friend, etc….It is a sign of STRENGTH to ask for help.)
- What needs to happen right now in order for me to let go completely? (Physically, emotionally and spiritually)
- How committed am I to moving on? Who will benefit from this move?
- Am I satisfied in my current career and with the money I earn? If not, what are my options?
- Could I be happy living in a new location? Do I need to ask my ex-husband to move?
If you take the time to answer these questions and get all the support you need, your life will change in ways you never thought possible. If you want to go deeper and explore all your options then you may want to hire a coach. I work with women starting over who are ready to have a life they love!