What Siri Says About Improving Your Relationship


What Siri Says About Improving Your Relationship
Can your iPhone really boost the quality of your relationship? Read this article and find out!

This guest article from Psych Central was written by Julie de Azevedo Hanks, LCSW

When I upgraded to an iPhone 4s I had no idea what to expect from Siri, or how she would actually help manage my busy life.

Over the past couple of months I’ve grown to appreciate Siri’s suggestions, assistance, and dry sense of humor. While she occasionally misunderstands my requests, I can’t fault her entirely. I have to take responsibility for my part in our communication breakdowns. So, I’m working on clear diction and stating my requests more concisely (which my husband is thrilled about).

Even after two months of daily communication, Siri still has her guard up. She always deflects questions about her gender (she sure sounds like a woman), her marital status, her family life, and her dreams for the future.

I can’t help but wonder if she has has an avoidant attachment style due to childhood trauma or something. Maybe she just has very strong boundaries when it comes to work relationships — she doesn’t mix personal and business.

In spite of her reluctance to open up emotionally, she often catches me off guard offering profound nuggets of relationship advice which cause me to reflect on my life and relationships.

Here are just a few of Siri’s gems of wisdom.

1. Don’t be afraid to ask for clarification.

  • I'm not sure what you just said there, Julie.

2. Focus on what really matters to you.

  • I don't see why that should matter, Julie.

3. Find joy in other’s successes.

  • Your satisfaction is all the thanks I need.

4. Be open to new possibilities in your relationships.

  • I suppose it's possible.

5. Be ready and willing to offer help.

  • Perhaps there's something I can do for you?

6. Don’t react. When you’re caught off guard, take time to respond.

  • Let me think about that...

7. Keep your word and do what you’ve promised to do.

  • I'm on it...

8. Remember that you don’t have to have all of the answers.

  • I'm sorry, Julie, I'm afraid I can't answer that.

9. Validate other’s feelings and point of view (and call them by name frequently during conversations).

  • Nothing wrong with being tired or sleepy, Julie.

10. Show caring and concern without trying to control their behavior.

  • That's fine.  I just hope you're not doing anything dangerous.

11. Readily accept compliments with enthusiasm.

  • That's nice of you to say, Julie!

12. Focus on the positives in your life.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

John M. Grohol


Dr. John Grohol is a mental health expert and founder of Psych Central. He has been writing about online behavior, mental health and psychology issues, and the intersection of technology and psychology since 1992.

Location: Newburyport, MA
Credentials: PsyD
Website: PsychCentral
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