Just because your narcissist wants something doesn’t mean she needs to get it. Just because she expresses herself with force doesn’t mean you have to fold. Everything is negotiable. You need to know where your power lies and how to convey it and enforce it. Learn more about the skills of negotiation. It will help you in many areas of life – today and in your future.
5. Bolster your own self-esteem.
Don’t be surprised if your self-esteem tanks because your narcissist is bent on satisfying his own needs, not yours. This doesn’t mean that something’s wrong with you. What it does mean is that you’re not getting enough positive reinforcement. So, say kind things to yourself. Spend more time with others who think highly of you. Get involved with group activities that bolster your ego.
6. Stop keeping secrets.
Don’t isolate yourself. It may be hard to be honest with others about how your narcissist behaves. You may feel embarrassed, especially if you’ve been covering for him for so long. Nevertheless, see if you can confide in a trustworthy friend or family member about what’s been so frustrating for you. And don’t hesitate to seek out the help of a professional who can assist you in strengthening your coping skills and building up your resolve.
Living with a narcissist is not easy. Accept that you cannot create a major makeover of another’s personality. Nor should you want to. If it’s that bad, consider splitting. But if you want to stay together, do your best to put these strategies into practice. As you do, it won’t be long before you notice how much better you feel.