ProConnect

8 Simple Tips for Keeping Your Relationship Emotionally Fit

By

8 Simple Tips for Keeping Your Relationship Emotionally Fit
Read about how the small stuff matters in keeping your love alive in this article from Psych Central

This guest article from Psych Central was written by Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S.

Self-care is key for our spiritual, emotional and physical health. You probably partake in a variety of nourishing habits every day — from the bare essentials of taking a shower and brushing your teeth to getting enough sleep, exercising and meditating.

More from YourTango: Just Friends or Emotional Infidelity?

The same is true for relationships: They require daily care to stay healthy.

It’s important for couples to nourish their relationships on a regular basis. But this doesn’t mean sweeping, dramatic acts. The seemingly small stuff counts, and it goes a very long way.

In his book Emotional Fitness for Couples, psychotherapist Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D, shares simple ways couples can stay in shape and become closer and stronger every day.

Here are eight ideas from his helpful book.

 

1. Create a special, secret way to say “I love you.”

According to Goldsmith, saying “I love you” creates a safe and secure space. Think about how you can make this a unique ritual. In the book he features an example of a happily married couple who texts each other “111” and “111-2” to signify “I love you.”

2. Engage in random acts of love.

Goldsmith suggests each partner make a list of loving acts you’d like the other to perform, such as a backrub or breakfast in bed. Exchange your lists, and aim to do something from your partner’s list once a week.

3. Go to bed together.

“Sleeping together is one of the most important parts of a relationship,” Goldsmith writes. Even if you have different schedules, this can be done. Goldsmith gives an example of a couple who always go to bed together, even though she goes to bed at 8:30 p.m. and he gets his best ideas at night. They lay together until she falls asleep. Then he reads, writes or gets up and watches TV. Goldsmith suggests creating a bedtime routine, which might include anything from reading from a fave book together to snuggling while watching TV.

4. Do romantic deeds.

More from YourTango: Recognizing the Signs of Love Addiction

“If you want to express your romantic feelings to someone you love, do something, anything, rather than nothing,” Goldsmith writes. Romance doesn’t need to be a grand getaway. Again, small totally counts. For instance, he explains that one flower tends to have the same effect as a bouquet. He suggests talking to each other about what you find romantic and creating a romance “wish list,” which you can exchange.

5. Make yourself happy.

Partners are not responsible for each other’s happiness. As Goldsmith says, “Happiness is an inside job.” Thinking otherwise can chip away at your relationship. One way to be happier is to keep a gratitude journal. Goldsmith suggests jotting down five things you’re grateful for every night and reading it in the morning. If you’re not sure what makes you happy, ask your partner. They usually notice what contributes to your joy.

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

John M. Grohol

Psychologist

Dr. John Grohol is a mental health expert and founder of Psych Central. He has been writing about online behavior, mental health and psychology issues, and the intersection of technology and psychology since 1992.

Location: Newburyport, MA
Credentials: PsyD
Other Articles/News by John M. Grohol:

Just Friends or Emotional Infidelity?

By

A new sort of infidelity has been on the rise for decades, and it's one of the biggest threats to marriage: "emotional affairs." Today's workplace has become the new danger zone of opportunities for emotional affairs, surpassed only by the Internet. A relationship without sex can be just as intense, or more so than a sexual one. Not ... Read more

Recognizing the Signs of Love Addiction

By

While people may admit to having struggles in their relationships, including difficulty with intimacy, it is sometimes hard to admit that you struggle with love addiction. But what if you have come to terms with love addiction, and realized that you are struggling with behaviors that are a source of upset and unmanageability in your life? What if you ... Read more

5 Rituals to Strengthen Your Marriage

By

I’m a big believer in the power of ritual. When you do something over and over, you start to anticipate the feelings you’ll have. So when it comes to our relationships, it’s important to have rituals that make us feel emotionally connected. Perhaps even more importantly, they create the expectation of being emotionally connected, which is half ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
How to Date Higher Quality Men: 5 Changes You Must Make First

Want To Date A Higher Quality Man? 5 Changes You Must Make First

Learn how to attract and date higher quality men, and have the dating life you've always wanted.

Natural Solutions To Dealing With A Nervous Breakdown

You Had A Nervous Breakdown. Now What? 4 Steps To Take To Heal

You have to understand that you don't have to say yes to everything.

Relationships: How To Run From A Toxic Relationship

5 Signs You're In A Toxic Relationship (And How To Get Out)

Most of us can admit to remaining in a toxic relationship well beyond its expiration date.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS