Think you and your partner have achieved true love? Read this article to find out if you're right.
This guest article from PsychCentral was written by Danielle B. Grossman, MFT
We know you were just assaulted with all those Valentine’s Day articles. Sorry about that.
But it’s important to consider that “true love” is not just a theory or a figment of a writer’s imagination.
Nor is it just the fictionalized stuff of romantic comedies. It can occur in day-to-day reality, too.
Below are 14 ways to help make it happen. You may be surprised to learn that true love is not only attainable — it may be closer than you think.
- Romantic true love must be created. It does not ‘just happen.’
- You become capable of creating romantic true love when you commit to your own truth.
- You commit to your own truth by dedicating yourself to becoming aware of the complex and wide range of your thoughts, feelings, and experiences as they continually shift and change.
- You become aware as you move beyond whatever blocks you from being open to the truth of your experiences.
- You move beyond your blocks to truth by learning to observe your thoughts and feelings in a compassionate way, even if those thoughts or feelings are scary or inconvenient.
- Once you are committed to your own truth, you can work to create a romantic true love relationship.
- Working to create a romantic true love relationship means seeking a partner who is also committed to awareness of his or her own truth, or encouraging an existing partner to commit to awareness of his or her own truth.
- Once you and your partner are both individually committed to truth, you can work to build a relationship that supports truth.
- In a relationship that supports truth, there is space and respect for both people to have whatever thoughts and feelings they may have, even if those thoughts and feelings are scary or inconvenient.
- Truth in a relationship does not mean communicating every thought or feeling with your partner and causing unnecessary pain; truth in a relationship means that both partners feel safe to be open and honest about anything that seems important to share.
- When there is respect and space for each person’s truth, you do not have to hide from the truth in fear of your partner turning mean, denying or invalidating your thoughts or feelings, or intentionally saying or doing things to hurt or abuse you.
- A relationship where it is safe for truth to emerge will challenge and support both partners toward increasing awareness and connection to the spectrum of their own truth.
- Once you and your romantic partner are both committed to being true unto yourselves, and you are building a relationship that supports truth, only time will tell if it is romantic true love.
- If it is romantic true love, it will endure, growing and evolving to continue to support truth, integrating whatever arises into its fabric. For example: ‘Sometimes I detest my husband.’ ‘Sometimes I feel thrilled by my partner.’ ‘Sometimes I wish that my wife would just stop talking and leave me alone.’ ‘Sometimes I look over at my partner snoring and I find him totally unattractive.’ ‘Sometimes I feel suffocated by my marriage.’ ‘Sometimes I feel incredibly fortunate to be married to my spouse.’ ‘Sometimes I feel rejected by my partner.’ ‘Sometimes I feel alone, even with my partner sitting right next to me.’ ‘And amid all of this, I still want to be together.’ ‘Our bond remains strong.’ ‘We both keep growing.’ ‘We keep going together.’ ‘We keep loving each other.’ ‘This must be true love.’