A Modern Day Look At Mars And Venus- Part 2
By John Gray, Ph.D.. Posted on .
**Don't miss your chance to chat with John on the YourTango Facebook page this Thursday, August 11 at 2pm ET. Find out more about the event and RSVP here.**
In part-one of this two-part series I discussed what has changed in modern relationships and how the principals discussed in Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus still apply to couples and singles today.
For a modern day relationships, I offer this guide to translate the 5 most important Mars Venus messages from the original book into today’s fast-paced world. Begining with the 3rd core message discussed in Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus...
Core Message #3: He’s exclusively from Mars and she’s exclusively from Venus.
The reality (and I’ve spoken about this for years) is that we’re all made up of Martian and Venusian qualities. Our lives are like concentric circles with some overlapping in the middle. But our core natures, based on hormonal differences, still remain. It’s just a differing degree today.
Take the example of the high-powered women. For her, while she’s the “boss” at the office, when she walks through the door at home, her other duties kick in. She comes home to a list of responsibilities, things she truly values doing for her family, that begin after six at night. The biggest issue I see is the need women have to somehow shed their masculine job roles and adopt their wife and mommy roles by the time she walks in the door. There’s no time for a stop by the cave for a quick fix, so she bottles that up, too, for another day.
The challenge of being both male and female is overwhelming for many women, and it’s very confusing as to which sides of them are valued, respected, appreciated and seen as attractive. Modern women are shouldered with these dual roles and the biggest impact is often in the bedroom.
If you look at magazines, movies and art, the way we still depict attractive women is in a very feminine way. The hard-core business woman is not the one we see men lusting after on film. This very mixed message is one of the hardest things women have to combat and it reminds me of the song lyrics: “I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan and never let you forget you’re a man…”
Modern women are under more stress than ever and all of this impacts sexual attraction. To say that the recipe for her to fix this is to come home and shed her powerful self in exchange for a softer, sexier side would be seen as an archaic, sexist request by many readers. Yet I tell you, it’s the women who master this dance between their business self, motherly self, and wifely self, that are in the most successful marriages today.
