Many people have unrealistic expectations regarding relationships.
Childhood fairytales have taught us that couples always live happily ever after. However, this and other misleading fantasies and myths stops you from fully experiencing the riches that relationships have to offer.
Here are 10 common relationship myths you need to stop believing in:
1. A new relationship will make you happy
During the initial infatuation phase of a relationship, you see mostly the positive side of the person. There is a strong attraction, positive traits and potential for lasting happiness.
However, those are just delusions. Regardless of how well a relationship begins, you will eventually experience both sides of the person. A relationship will not change this natural experience of human emotions.
2. When you find yoursoul mate, you'll feel complete
Living like your soulmate will complete you only leads to heartbreak. The illusions that you project onto your soul mate will inevitably fall apart when that person sometimes behaves in a manner that does not support you.
A soulmate can be one person or several people in your life, people who fully complement you and help you find your own wholeness.
3. The right relationship lasts forever
As every relationship begins, another one is ending. So the idea of 'forever' is an unrealistic expectation. A relationship lasts as long as both people communicate with each other's highest values or priorities.
4. Once you get past the rough waters, it will be smooth sailing
Relationships are not static and no one remedy will eliminate all of your supposed troubles. As I mentioned above, life involves a balance of difficulty and ease, liberty and constraint.
5. A good relationship requires sacrifice
Sacrifice tends to breed resentment. Anytime you do something you don't want to do, or see no benefit to yourself in doing it, then you will become resentful. This can happen immediately, or subconsciously. It's best to master the art of communication when it comes to each other's values.
6. Great sex happens only at the beginning of a relationship
Both lust and intimate lovemaking can continue to grow and evolve throughout a relationship as long as you understand and disable any unrealistic expectations that might shut it down. This includes the myths listed here.
7. In the right relationship, you don't need work
Many people hang on to the idea that being with someone happens naturally. However, a fulfilling relationship requires concentration, organization, effort and skill.
8. You'll be lonely if you're not involved with someone
People can feel lonely in a crowded room. Loneliness is a function of how you perceive yourself relative to your environment. You can sleep right next to someone and yet feel a thousand miles distant, or be a thousand miles distant but feel as if they are close.
9. Children complete a marriage
Children are unlikely to complete a union, just as romantic partners are unlikely to complete each other.
10. Opposites attract
There is no true opposite, only an apparent opposite. Every human has the same potential for love, anger, greatness, hope, despair, etc. What you see in a romantic partner is also present in you. It's just expressed in a different way.
To read more on John Demartini's teaching, visit www.drdemartini.com.
This article was originally published at www.w24.co.za. Reprinted with permission from the author.