I have created some standard questions to ask couples after taking the test with the goal of increasing communications around their sexuality. For example, I will ask – What surprised you most about your partner and what surprised you most about yourself?
Many couples, especially in the age group of 21 – 30 years old, have stated that the instrument made it easier and more comfortable to talk about sex. Additionally, as a result of feeling more comfortable communicating about their sexuality some individuals had also been able to more thoroughly explore their sexual needs from a pleasure base rather than an orgasm/performance base. Instead of viewing sex as a performance where the main actors are an erection and two [or more] supporting orgasms, I am working with couples to tailor their sexual activity to focus on pleasure, fun and intimacy. It is not the intention to deny or avoid intercourse and orgasm, but to experience many other aspects of sexual activity to enjoy.
What kinds of feedback have you received from participants?
The feedback remains incredibly positive. I have received so many letters of support and encouragement as many have indicated that my work is critical and important for the advancement and understanding of human sexuality. Many people that have taken the BSPI thus far have stated that while they felt it was important to be aware of their own preferences, they stated it was equally if not more important to know their partners preferences in order to better relate and respond to their partner’s sexual needs, wishes and desires.
There are assumptions that have been made before understanding preferences. One couple reported that because the wife had more sexual experience with many different partners before the marriage and he had not, the assumption was made that she knew what she wanted and would prefer to be the Dominant partner, when in fact she clearly enjoyed being the Submissive. Another assumption that has been teased out between married couples is the expectation that the male is expected to prefer the Dominant role and the woman the Submissive. The research does not support that assumption and demonstrates it as an individual choice regardless of gender orientation.
What’s your vision for this project?
The vision of my project is for the BSPI to become the standard instrument for all people to use world wide in learning about their sexuality. I want to capture over 100,000 respondents and publish a book on the results so that we can understand the differences between people from various parts of the world, different sexual orientation, gender, age, etc. I see the results informing our educational leaders in promoting a sexuality that is based on pleasure replacing the outdated and harmful performance based one that too many of us have adopted.