So when there's a problem, he feels like less of a man. Meanwhile, she worries that she's not sexy enough, or cannot turn him on. When in fact, in my experience, this has never been the case. Rarely are things ever completely one person's fault. As a sex therapist, one of the first questions I ask when assessing a male client is whether or not he masturbates. If he does, I follow up by asking him if he has any problems completing the act? If the answer here is that his performance is "normal"—and a complete medical examination by a urologist reveals the same, and that there are no other organic medical issues—then I conclude that the problem is a relational one. In other words, if his erection functions normally during masturbation, and there is no anxiety around performance, there's something amiss in the relationship.
The great news is that issues of this kind can be solved. And knowing that the issue is not physical provides you with a rare opportunity to get closer to your partner both emotionally and physically, and in ways you may not have thought of before. Stop trying to perform and permit yourself to enjoy the pleasure you both can share. Look at your situation as an opportunity to take your sexual relationship to a place you never experienced together, and revel in how good it can feel to share this with the one you love. Sex Prevents ED
To really make this advice work, you need to follow these action steps to complete today's challenge.
Right now, I want you to:
Decide today to stop viewing sexual activity as a performance-based event. It should be about pleasure, fun and intimacy. Learn to explore what arouses each of you with the intent of experiencing pleasure in a loving, fun and intimate way.
Within 7 days I want you to:
Plan on expanding your sexual repertoire to include much more than just sexual intercourse. Think back to when you first met, and how you were so excited to learn about your partner's sexual response. Your attitude alone can affect how you feel about your sexual relationship, and your willingness to nurture and grow it.
By the end of the challenge I want you to:
Take turns exploring the sensate areas of your entire body... not just focusing on the genitals. Plan a night of total body exploration or massage, where you search for any and all areas that might be erotically stimulating.