Do sexual relationships have realistic expectations? Go figure!


To drive home my point, I want to share a statistic I picked up at a presentation by Stefanie Carnes [daughter of Patrick Carnes author of – Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction] to a group of Mental Health Professionals interested in learning about sexual addiction/compulsivity. She presented the following slide:

Number of Porn Pages by Country (in millions)


Japan 2.7

Australia 5.7

United Kingdom 8.5

Germany 10

and topping out the number one spot was the United States standing like a giant above the rest with 245 million pages. In spite of that number being the staggering one that it is, another point comes to mind living in the capitalistic society that we do. From a production and inventory capacity we are creating a huge amount of product that will need to be consumed…and what better way to create the demand for the supply than to prime our males with the desire and want for these impersonal images, thus, continually developing our boys to men along the lines Zilbergeld discovered almost two decades ago.

As men, as a society, as a culture we need to break this pattern so that our sons and daughters can enter sexual relations with realistic and emotionally and relationally aligned expectations. It’s all about choices and attitudes…Go Figure!

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