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There are times in the life of a long term
relationship when you feel stuck. This
doesn’t necessarily mean the end of the relationship; long term relationships
have a natural ebb and flow to their energy.
Most people don’t really understand that, and as the energy in the
relationship ebbs, they fear that the end is near. This can create a self-fulfilling prophesy;
as you feel stuck in the relationship, you can begin to look for what’s wrong
instead of what’s right. Little things
he does begin to really bug you, and you become less attracted to him.
How can you pull yourself out of this
downward spiral? How do you know when
you should try? My fast answer to the
second question is that every relationship, unless it’s physically or
emotionally abusive, deserves a second chance.
Most likely, your partner has no idea how you’re really feeling. If he knew, chances are he would want to do
something to help improve the relationship.
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Here are some simple steps to give your
relationship the opportunity to pull up out of its nose dive.
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1. Spend a couple of hours alone with a
journal to contemplate and write about your feelings. What kinds of things are you really telling
yourself about the relationship?
Bringing them into the light by writing them down can help you get clear
on what’s bothering you.
2. Commit to doing something to help
yourself. Commit to going to the gym
five days a week, meditating for fifteen minutes every day, or eating
better. It’s important to give this
commitment to yourself in order to validate your own importance. Often, women lose themselves in their
relationships; this step can help you find your self again.