A Rant on Sex and Violence  

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Can someone please tell me what the hell is wrong with our society?  We allow children to watch violent movies and play even more violent video games, but we don’t give them healthy role models for sexual activity.   

I’ve been stewing about this for awhile now, but then one of my Facebook friends posted that she’d rather let her kids watch violent movies than love stories.  WTF?!  I actually understood her point:  violent movies are more realistic, while love stories are all big fat fairy tale (which is another problem in itself).  

I was recently an expert blogger on the website Your Tango’s “31 Days to Better Sex” challenge.  I had the chance to talk to one of their team members about it yesterday, and she said it was a great success.  Their one disappointment was that some of the prime time media thought the material was too racy.  Are you kidding me?!  These same media will show photos of murder victims in all their gory detail, but they don’t want to talk about how to have a better sex life with your partner?  It’s not like we were encouraging teenaged girls to have sex; the audience for this site is adult—consenting adult—women.  They’re highly educated, too; they’re not likely to just take what they read and run with it without thinking.   

What message are we giving our kids (if you have them) when we don’t want them to see us being affectionate with each other?  Is it really a bad thing for your child to hear the sex noises coming from behind closed doors?  Personally, I think it’s healthy and positive for kids to see their parents making out, hugging, or giving each other a foot massage.  Those kinds of public displays of affection are healthy, and are a nice antidote to all the violence children are bombarded with on a daily basis.   

But then there are the romance novels and romantic comedy movies out there.  While they’re a huge improvement on the violence, they’re also sending a horrible message.  “You complete me” from the movie Jerry McGuire, is the biggest load of bull I’ve ever heard, but millions of people bought it, hook line and sinker. 

If you’re looking for a romantic partner to complete you, you’re doomed.  YOU are the only one who can complete you.  You (and your partner) have to bring your whole self into a relationship in order for it to be happy and healthy.  

There’s a quote that begins, “Children learn what they live…”  What do you want your children to learn?  I want my kid to learn how to be in a loving, conscious, balanced relationship.  I want her to learn how to love herself, first and foremost, so she can then learn how to love someone else.  I want her to be banned from watching movies, but I know that’s totally unrealistic.  So it’s my job to counter all those messages with real life stories.  I don’t hide my life from her, and I invite her to ask questions.  We watch the movies together, and we talk about what happened; what did it mean, how realistic was it.  

I don’t realistically expect to change the media, but wouldn’t it be nice?

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