Learning to Love What IS


Americans in general and American women in particular are suffering from a terrible disease.  It’s the “malaise of discontent;” the malaise of longing for what we think we don’t have.  It’s contagious, but usually not fatal.  Instead, it’s a wasting disease.  It lays waste to self-confidence and self-esteem.  It’s transmitted via social interactions and by paying attention to the media. 

Symptoms include repetitive negative self-talk that sounds like this:  “I’ll be happy when I lose 20 pounds.  I’ll be happy when I get pregnant.  I’ll be happy when I get a new job.  I’ll be happy when we get a new house.”  Other symptoms include jealously toward what others have, and constantly comparing yourself to others in unflattering ways. 


This disease keeps us stuck in whatever situations we say we don’t want, because it keeps us focused on what we say we don’t want.  The Law of Attraction is very clear on this point:  we draw to ourselves anything we spent our time, attention and emotions on.  The Universe doesn’t care if we’re focusing on positive or negative things; it doesn’t judge us. 

Let’s use weight as an example.  Often in a long term relationship, women will gain weight.  Some of the reasons for the weight gain are child birth and the ensuing lack of time for exercise, poor eating habits because of lack of time or information, and emotional eating.  Whenever we try to lose weight, or even change any old patterns, because of negative self-talk, we are doomed to fail.

Why are we doomed to fail?  Because our negative self-talk will sabotage us every time.  It will say things like, “You’re fat; nobody will find you attractive looking like that.  You’re on another diet?  Why bother, you’re just going to fall off the wagon again.”  Your negative self-talk is the manuscript in the movie of your own discontent.

There is a four step process we can use to successfully re-write the story line of our movie from one of discontent to one of happiness:

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