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You may have wondered why I often recommend
rekindling the passion in your relationship.
Maybe you think you can’t even stand being in the same room as your
partner, never mind letting him have sex with you!
There’s an interesting phenomenon that
occurs when you allow eroticism back into a stalled relationship. It’s based on the principle “act as if.” It shows up repeatedly and I have never seen
a couple with whom it has not worked.
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I typically recommend having sex for seven
days in a row to jump start the process.
However, if your relationship has deteriorated to the point where
neither of you is willing to start there, I have some other suggestions.
Make a list of 10-15 small gestures your
partner can make that will let you know he cares about you. Ask him to do the same thing. Often when we’re trying to reconnect with our
partner, we do things for him that we want done to us. Sometimes those things are meaningless or
even annoying to him. When that happens,
it sets another downward spiral into motion.
For example, I would like my partner to load the dishwasher without
being asked. So I might let the dishes
pile up, and then when he doesn’t load them I will. But in the meantime, I become irritated that
the dishes are piling up. When I load
them, I slam the dishes around and mutter under my breath about what a slob he
is… see? Your guy is NOT a mind reader,
and it’s not fair to expect him to know what you want.